I'm always sad now
all I do is whine and cry
even if it's all on my own time

people always ask me what's wrong?
but now I just respond with I'm tired

I feel so broken-down
I just want to leave this town

no one will know that I've been stuck in oblivion for so long

You were the boy at the bus stop
your soft-spoken voice
-so conscious and sweet
you were shy, quiet, and a bit un-easy
something about you caught my attention for more than a brief second
your eyes- bigger than mine
i fell into them so quickly
i didn't know it at the time, but soon you would be mine
everything about being with you just felt so right
i didn't have to worry about anything......
other than how sweaty my hands got when i held yours
because of how incredibly nervous i was every time i saw you
slowly, i started to picture everything that was wrong
it was too good
what we had was so superficial
everything about us just seemed like a sham
we didn't fight or argue
it was always just me trying to make everything feel real
i couldn't focus on who i wanted to be because every single thought i had was about you and me
maybe i thought you could make me genuinely happy
i thought i loved you
i wasn't ready for this
i forced myself into something because i thought it would help me figure out who i need to be
i was unfair to you- i made you fall for me when i just needed to be free
now every time i see you, i look away because i can't bare the thought of seeing you go through anything because of me
i took your innocence- i didn't deserve it
and i, sure as hell, don't deserve you

I can't even get out of bed
all these unnatural thoughts in my head
they're all dragging me down by a single thread
"oh no" they said, "you're over exaggerating"
then why does everything feel so aggravating?
I can't elaborate on how I feel
oh man, what's the big deal
I'm falling apart...
but I guess good things fall apart in order to create new starts

don't you dare tell me I'm special and make me feel good in my own skin if you're just going to take that away from me when you leave
don't you dare tell me I'm beautiful then forget how to see
don't you dare tell me what I mean to you if you're going to act like it was all nothing
don't you dare tell me how you feel about me as if it was all a dream
don't you dare tell me that you don't want to lose me then go on and take everything
don't you dare tell me that you didn't feel a thing
-that I meant nothing to you
-that leaving me was as easy as it was to hold me
don't you dare......leave

we are so consumed with, what is referred to as, consuming thoughts
-the ones that eat our brains out till we cannot think for ourselves
it's like someone, or even something, has traded our mind for a slab of clay
with this slab of clay we must create art
it'll make us feel like we need to tear everything apart
we'll start from scratch, over and over again till our head is shaking with aches and pains
-but still we continue to make whatever we are doing into its best form
because we don't want to stop till we are no longer disappointing ourselves and even after it's perfect
we are still left in despair
because we are writers,
with yet again another empty slab

so breathless
so mistaken, I tell you
you left me breathless
what a mistake, you

how could you do this to me..