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193 · Nov 2019
Untitled // E
Nyx Ciel Nov 2019
"Can I introduce you
As someone I'm dating?"

Simply, yes.
More complex:
Shout it from the rooftops
With the power of a hurricane
Gale winds echoing
And carrying my heart's refrain

Let it loose like lightning,
Flowing freely from your lips
Electric currents riveting
And pulsing through our fingertips

Tell the world with thunder
A heavy crash they can't ignore
Sonic forces rippling
And tearing forwards wanting more

Rain it down like hailstones
Bludgeon them until they break
Bruise the words into their skin
Let them make no mistake

You
Are a force of nature

And I could never say no.
You said you like to feel powerful.
186 · Dec 2019
E
Nyx Ciel Dec 2019
E
Swimming in memories
Four minutes old
Trying to rewind to
Find the time for all the times I told
Myself

That I would never find true love
Never thought there'd be two loves
Two sets of hands that fit like gloves

Two seperate sets with unique functionalities
Fit the hands perfectly splitting rationalities
From fears

The mind
The heart

Working in tandem
To slowly tear themselves apart

Step
One

Love is like a flower
Grow it with some watering
And try not to shower it

Two
Much

Step two

Too much love and it'll drown
With some time you'll know the why and how to
Spread that love around

Step Three

Your single bud's turned into more bouquets
And suddenly your love has grown in many subtle different ways

Step Four

Wear gloves when you go  gardening
Pray that if you ***** your hands
That you won't feel a ****** thing

Step Five

Don't be afraid to fall
Don't be afraid to lose it all
You love and live recklessly
So why would more love
Change a thing?
So long and farewell.
Bittersweet bliss and a few nights of tears ahead.

Keep writing.

-SC
178 · Nov 2020
5.
Nyx Ciel Nov 2020
5.
Alcohol to clear the mind
Each drop a single note rewinds
Our melody in broken time
Until the clock runs thin.

And now we're wasting borrowed hours
Counting seconds not quite ours
Verses stolen with our breaths
Returning to us blank.

We struggle understanding why
It feels like we no longer tried
Recovering what once stretched time
And all that's left is guilt.
I'm angry and sad and confused and tired and all I have to say... Be well.
33 · 3d
A Cold Night
Unrequited
Interrupted
Finite, quietly
erupting.
Feelings simmer keel and burn
Healing thinner, scars in turn
form callous thick as heartbeats deep.
A gallows dream, this lovesick sleep.
A choking heat now mars its toll
Blazing brightly through my soul -
A hope at warmth, as cinders sting
All consuming, everything.
I have never fed these flames
But fire always takes its claim.
I think a piece of me will always love a piece of you. When I watch you perform, the fire roars back to life. A bittersweet blaze.
0 · 3d
Diamonds
I found my path in life again
in living for my fallen friends
for all of those I've left behind
their memories within my mind
are motivators, batteries
heart-fueled sparks igniting peace
reminding me that times of ease
are not so far between.

That every moment I make mine
seconds, minutes, hours; time
passes quickly, passes slow
it burns, it smolders, fire, smoke.
so live the life that you deserve
live and love life unreserved
love your life with all your heart
for meaning's found in who you are
who you were and who you'll be
meaning, someone's memories.

A constellation in the night
stars connected, sharing light
illuminate the sky's array
for those who've yet to lose their way
Every poem I write for you is inadequate
and I don't think that's because I'm not a good poet.

You were just a great man.
This poem used to be much longer but this first stanza captures all that I've ever felt in my inadequate expressions of grief for my mentor. Rest in peace, Eric.
0 · 3d
addendum
I would like to say things plain
you're so much more than sin
you're so much more than flesh and blood
so much more than skin

you like my words and how they weave
I hope that colors true
the blush and awkward stifled thing
I somehow shared with you

And moving forward I don't plan
to write a verse each time
but when I do please understand
what moves me is your mind

your verve is what upturns my grin
there's something kindred there
what fascinates is what's within
not what's outward fair

your words play on repeat above
a distant melody
and while the words are foreign still
s'familiar sounds to me.

and thus my feelings, plain!
as plain as they can be
as plain as "huh, they're blue, not brown,"
as simple poetry
She was the first crush I'd ever had who's eyes were a different color. Part 2, a response to "Don't."
0 · 3d
Don't
I don't want to be your next poem
I don't want to be your next fling
I don't want to be your Adam
I am not some Eden, lingering

I don't want to lead astray
To waste a moment's time
The longer stemmed the apple's bite
The sweeter tastes the wine

I don't want you to bite me
and indulge in autumn's bliss
I don't want to taste your tongue
temptations reminisce

I don't want you to tease me
Those lips with practiced ease
I don't want to tease you back
In prayer down on my knees

I don't want to worship you
to sing your sacred hymns
I don't want your sacrament
your blood, your flesh, your sin

I don't want your ecstasy
to pay your carnal tithe
don't want you lain next to me
in precious wayward time

i don't want to hear your sighs
your breath upon my neck
your fingers furled around my throat
catching stolen breaths

don't make me your next poem.
but let me be a verse

purple, bruised, overused, imperfect, witty, terse

I don't want to want you
for want is wanton thin
i don't need to need you
just let the serpent in.
part of a pair of poems for a fellow poet who stole my heart for two months.
0 · 3d
Crushed
I've writ of the sea
Adrift from the shore
But I've never felt safety
So helpless before

Consumed quick by high tide
So swift from the low
I'll weather, abide
Each wuthering blow.

Crushed by the waves
Drowned in the roil
When the tide folds I'll see
What truths will uncoil

See I'm not afraid
Of the waves, of their breadth
But when seizing tides fade
I'll be out of my depth.

There's no time to think
When you're gasping for air
With nothing to drink
But the saltwater fair

It's simpler to breathe
When it's all I can do
If I haven't a voice
When there's no choice but you.

I'll be stuck in the sand
When this sea returns home
My heart will cede deeper
And sink in the loam.

The soft silt will turn rigid
As salt becomes rime
The low tide will grow frigid
Sift sands, over time.

Unearthing the truth
Plain spoken in prose
Of the salt surf and sea
My tender heart knows.
Tender, not broken.
We said we'd try something new. Before it could begin, this poem came true.

I wrote this piece on the precipice of a dynamic shift in one of my important friendships, to something more. I did not expect it to be so poignantly prophetic.
0 · 3d
stonefruit
I feel like a cherry with the pit of a peach,
there's something within me that isn't quite me
my skin's far too polished, my bite far too ****
and this fuzz and this sweetness are tearing apart
who I am

I struggle to just exist in this space
and sometimes I wish that I could erase
this part of me

The boundaries that stem from neurodivergence
we are taught that our true selves are toxic deterrents
we are punished for existing in the ways that we must
so we seal off these parts, behind layers of dust
buried beneath evermore branches of olive
until we can no longer see through this wall of

"I'm not"
"I'm sorry"
"I'll leave you alone"
"I didn't,"
"I don't,"
"I'll put down the phone."
"My hands just get restless."
"It's nothing, don't mind."
"Look anywhere else."
You know what you'll find
beneath

We know that we're stonefruit
we know that's a sin
but once seeds have rooted, they must draw light in
we don't get a say in living like this
we didn't choose, but we do exist

so maybe, a peach, with the pit of a cherry
I'm smaller and bitter and some find that scary.
But peel back my skin, I'm still flesh underneath
Softer and tender and gentle and sweet

I might be either. Maybe I'm both.
Either way neither's deserving self loathe.

I finish this poem six months after start
I'm a fruit, I'm a queer, I'm a pie, I'm a ****.
The label's a what. I know who I am.
So bite me, pulp me, turn me to jam.

I'll still taste as sweet, still bite as sour
My flesh will still be yours to devour
Consume me, observe me, but do not define
Fruits  cannot grow from branches confined.

— The End —