I'm a ***** when I have to be,
won't let no one walk all over me.
Again and again I am hurt.
Constantly being kicked in my side,
stepped on and spat on like dirt.
Deep down I'm all alone.
I come off as loud mouthed and sassy,
but I was good before and look where it got me.
So yeah, I'm a *****.
I have every right to be.
Just like you are an *******.
Don't be mad at me.

Beads of sweat gleam in the light
Under the apple tree
Into the suns warm, bright rays
Raven red hair
Sunny
Silky skin
So brown
Apple green eyes
That laugh
We were young
Hot leather seats
The park
No one around
Temptation
We acted on it
I wonder how you are doing now
It's been nearly 3 years
No calls
Under that apple tree
That day our love grew
You were with her and i with him
My high school sweetheart
Time does cruel things
The smell of peony
Flowers falling down from the trees
I look at you in awe
Your kisses are amazing
Your voice is sweet and deep
The strings of nature band together for us
A warm heartbeat

If my heart could break into a million pieces
What would it say?
Would it say,
Pack up and leave him-
Y'all don't need him
Just for a place to stay?
Would it try to comfort her children when they are getting less to eat each day?
When doctor's ask are your children getting 3 meals with snacks in between and you want to break down and die-
Oh, only God knows what I mean.
Please stop breaking because you've
Broken into a million pieces a million times.
People warned her not to leave,
To leave VA.
But she ran from her problems
And there waited a new set to meet her at the door.
She doesn't know who she is anymore.
All she wanted was love
But love is no more
Only pain, judgement, misfortune, humiliation, and bad blood are at her door.
The faces of her sweet children is all she has left to keep her pushing,
Paddling, pushing on

Why do I tense up when you're around?
Why does my heart beat faster?
Why do I hold my breath?
We can't be ourselves around you
I am stuck
I made the choice
Birthdays pass
Years roll by
Anniversaries come and go
Embarrassed to show my face
No more thoughts of the white lace gown
With my father by my side
Going down the aisle
Gave that dream up for you
Now I have nightmares
With red rolling clouds
Silent screams
Ancient trees
Trying to get out
I want to wake up and breathe
This is not life
This is not me

Cooking on the stove
A regular day
Making breakfast
Sharp pain
Red running
Bathroom break
Kids fighting
Panicking
Giant red hearts
Weeping crying
Sharp pains
Mommy are you ok
Keeping me company
Sleeping
Dreaming
Waking
Wishing
Empty

Daylights

Life happens, beach breeze
Understanding, calm
Martinis lemonade
To share your feelings
It's a masquerade.
Love lips kiss,
Young lustful lies
50 years gone where
Old age dies.
Victim
Venom
Grief, hurt
Sleepless nights
Stranger for 6 years
Who am I