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Apr 21 · 48
let me be
Nurul Asyiqin Apr 21
If I am made to be alone in this lifetime,
then let me be.
I do not want to know anything about others.
I do not want to talk.
I do not want to form connections.

No pictures, no videos,
no souvenirs to hold.
No questions.
No conversations.
No ties, no threads,
no strings pulling me back.

I will listen only to what my soul can hold.
I will see only what softens my eyes.
I will feel only what my heart can take.

I will never try too hard.
Because I will be the judge of my own life.

To follow where my feet wander,
I will go where the wind does not need directions,
where my shadow is the only one that knows my name.

Let me run into the rain barefoot,
laugh into thunder,
dance with lightning until my bones burn to ashes.

I yearned to become one with the earth;
the sand, the wind, the sun, and the moon.
I will be the ocean.
I, too, will be the fire.

Loneliness will feel like a cloak of disappearance—
invisibility, and power.

To live.
To just exist.
And someday, to quietly cease,
without sound, without weight.

Let me feel less,
float more, and fade.

I only ask that the universe and its occupiers—
to let me just be.
Nurul Asyiqin Dec 2024
I thought I was rotting away last year.
Gradually decaying, until I am no longer here.
While falling into an endless abyss.
But I survived yet another year of thunders and storms.
So I made a plan this year.
A plan not to care much about everything.
I have had enough dealing with the voices in my head.
They needed to rest, and I will take a break for myself.
I just hope I will stop rotting and start living.
Nov 2022 · 183
inferior
Nurul Asyiqin Nov 2022
The complication of life has put me in a lot of dejected sentiments. I grasp for affection and assurance, rely on positive affirmations, long for utter liberation. And for that, I am yet to feel whole.
Oct 2022 · 323
hellos and goodbyes
Nurul Asyiqin Oct 2022
i've been here and i've stayed there,
encountered a lot of events,
met a lot of people;
some were nice and some were less nice,
wise and less wise,
friendly and just... faintly aloof.

there are traces of my steps everywhere i go,
and there are faces which i miss so dearly,
and there are places where i've wandered to.

and for all the paths i've crossed,
without a doubt,
have always been transient.

there is a recurring pattern,
with an awkward introduction and a poignant separation,
of saying hellos and waving goodbyes.
Sep 2022 · 201
a place full of strangers
Nurul Asyiqin Sep 2022
this is an unfamiliar town
the longer i am here, the greater the realization hits;
these are not my people
here is not my place
i cannot grow, i cannot glow

but anywhere is a place full of strangers
(we sustain and we endure,
for that is what humans do)
Nov 2020 · 161
------
Nurul Asyiqin Nov 2020
Everyone is walking on a thin string.
One end is living, the other end is dying.
We are not dead, but neither we are alive.
When time passes, we are still unable to reach towards any point.
That is the thin string of life.
We enjoyed tip-toeing in the middle so much,
until the string is bent;
Until we cannot be mended, left broken.
---------------------------------------------x-----------­--------------------------------
Nov 2020 · 191
Am I sad?
Nurul Asyiqin Nov 2020
To be perpetually laden with the parity of both good and bad adventures, I do not know whether I am actually sad or I just want to be sad. The poignant feelings inside of me stay forever and the confusion it brought drains me.
Oct 2020 · 214
Paracosm.
Nurul Asyiqin Oct 2020
A complete separation from other beings,
I feel the sense of joy and happiness.
Entering the world of my own creation,
playing inside paracosm, unbothered.

— The End —