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not tanya Jun 2014
I'm living
I'm breathing
but I am not alive.

I have been dead for 3 years now
and nobody has visited my grave.
not tanya Mar 2014
upsetting
uplifting

both share a common word

two letters. two million meanings.


uplifting
going up


upsetting
going down

going so far down
that you break through the barrier on the other side
and then go up

It can take two weeks
months
Two years
decades

you will end up
up.
6.
not tanya Mar 2014
6.
You are the poetry I write.
not tanya Mar 2014
"How can you expect anyone to love you
when you don't even love yourself."
not tanya Mar 2014
My teeth are caged behind metal bars now
all because of one unacceptable tooth.
It wasn't facing straight
therefore it needed to be fixed.
It needed to be changed
and twisted into the position it was supposed to be facing all along.

"You like them?"
"They're like hell in your mouth, quit lying."
"You're not cool for getting those things on."

Sometimes the cages tear the inside of my lip
constantly poking and cutting
never allowing for me to forget about their existence

"They're not even that bad."
"At least you're wealthy enough to afford them, be thankful."
"I had to keep them on for 2 years, you know nothing."

These cages should be placed in my ears instead of my teeth.
They should filter through the many sounds of language
getting rid of the grim and letting in the good.

I can do so.
I can move my cages to my ears.
I can free my teeth.
I can free my damaged mouth.

Though it requires self installation.
I would have to move my cages
with no help.

How could I ever install something by myself
when my whole life has been nothing but listening to others read
rather than being taught to read myself.

What if I mess up
just like they had always said I would
if I ever dared to try.


Commanded.
Demanded.
Oppressed.
Depressed.
Forced.
Caged.
­
and I haven't managed to find any key, yet.
not tanya Jul 2013
Knuckles clenched
Knees bouncing
Fingers twirling
Step
         By
               Step
Watching his feet travel
With the ball leading the way
Time ticking
To the beat of my heart

Bending the knee
Like a bow and arrow
Pull it              All
                  The
         Way
Back
and Release

Ball is flying
Breath is held
Time is silent

Sudden roar
Smiles and hugs
Finally
The game has been won

His smile brighter than the flashing score
He raises his hand and moves it side to side
I do the same plus make a fist and let my thumb stand tall
His feet start to jump
Sprinting up
Two steps at a time

Closer
             Coming
                               Closer
                               To me

Grinning wide
Extending arms
Ready to congratulate him while holding
His body
In mine

But it never happens
He sprints past                       me
His feet keep traveling
                                     Higher
                                 Up
                         The
                 Cold
         Metal
Stands

Heart slowly falling apart
As his arms fall around
Her



Hugging
Smiling
Laughing

But
Not
With me

Softly kisses
Her
Cheek

As he softly
Breaks
My
Heart
Poem written April 4, 2013
not tanya Jul 2013
It's no big deal you see
Looking at that text

and forgetting to reply
Not wanting to reply
Too lazy to reply

Which excuse are you going to use?
It's no big deal you see

You can talk to her in the morning
Afternoon
Evening
Whenever your heart pleases

Will the reply ever come?
It's no big deal you see

The text can wait
It's meaningless
Not that important

Is that what you think?
It's no big deal you see

But to me it's a huge deal
So much meaning within that text that you saw
But chose to forget about
And to push aside

It's no big deal you see
not tanya Jul 2013
You replied
She meant something

You smiled
She meant something

You asked
She meant something

To you
She meant something

And that's why she's smiling
She means something

— The End —