i miss you
it's as if the world is less vibrant,
like a painting that's lost its colours
i find myself
unconsciously finding you in crowds
my heart skipping a beat
whenever i see someone with similar hair
or the sudden waft of your lovely perfume
i recognise so well
but you're not here
as dissappointment takes over,
i realise you're not here

why did you have to break my heart
was your love not strong enough
to stop whatever you were doing
was our relationship not important enough
for you to say
"hey, this is wrong. this is wrong"

apparently not, because you went and did it anyway
you laid on the same bed with another man
you laid on his chest and made your mark
you let another man kiss your cheek,
your forehead,
your lips...

how could you
how could you do all that, and still say
"i love you baby"
you held hands with another man
hands that were promised to be for me, only
you let yourself gaze at another man's eyes
and let yourself fall in love with him

worst part is
even after breaking my heart
to a tiny million pieces,
i am still, madly in love with you
maybe i am stupid
so stupid to forgive you and wait for you
but there's nothing else i want to do

i still want you

i find myself
looking through photos of us
videos of us on my phone
more recently
wondering where it all went wrong
how did you go from
the most loving, caring
the sweetest person in the world
to the most heartless person
we were in love
we had so much together
suddenly you gave up
you gave it all away
you gave up on me
when you promised me you wouldn't
you said you would stick by me
forever