I miss you so much that it leaves this aching within my chest,meaning I can't breathe at 4 a.m,no matter what goes into my lungs,we could've been something so beautiful,and I don't really know who's to blame because we fell in love at the wrong time and that was always going to be our destruction. I miss you. I crave your presence the way an addict craves his drug,the way the day craves the night.

I wanted nothing more than to pass the phase where every word I wrote unintentionally echoed your name. I  yearned for the day I'd learn to write all your memories out of my mind, I still wonder how I could ever think that was possible, when each syllable I wrote was inspired by you.
bittersweet. you were not present, but your presence lingered in every thought I spelt out, your essence in every droplet of ink. still, there remain  pages upon pages reminding me of what used to be, what could have been, and my soul, how I wished we would have been.

Sometimes you let go of people without even noticing. You stop thinking about them like you used to, it eventually isnt your daily habit anymore. you stop waiting for them to reply to you. you get used to it. you stop allowing them to take up so much space in your life. you move on, you go about your day without worrying about them. you stop expecting them to come back with an apology. and therefore, you finally accept the fact that they are no longer a part of your life anymore, this is you letting go.

It feels amazing to overcome the obstacles which we once believed would be our ending. To finally wake up from the coma of depression and breathe the fresh air you've craved so much. That feeling of accomplishment we get after defeating our demons and staying strong for ourselves and those around us can never be matched, it's beautiful and it inspires us to keep fighting when the world pushes us down.

Normality is a paved road;
It's comfortable to walk,but no flowers

This feeling of brokenness ripples within my bones. This echo of need screams within my chest. This cave of belonging stabs at my heart. This painting of guilt floats within my stomach.

You will lose someone you can't live without,and your heart will be badly broken,and the bad news is that you never completely get over the loss of your beloved.But this is also the good news. They live forever in your broken heart that doesn't seal back up. And you come through. It's more like having a broken leg that never heals perfectly- that still hurts when the weather gets cold,but you learn to dance with the limb.

you made me a lover intoxicated on the lust of your scent. you made me a lover, but you never taught me how to love. and now, i am in eternal conflict, for i can neither love or not love.

All these stars
and you still
shine the brightest

All these planets
but still,
you are my world

All these circuitous
theories and yet
I still believe in you

All these wounds
but still I will bleed-

all for you

A bruise is tender
but does not last,
it leaves me
as I always was.

But a wound I take
much more to heart,
for a scar will always
leave its mark.

And if you should ask
which one you are,
my answer is
you are a scar.

Doesn't it surprise you? To love someone so much, you continue to love them regardless of the pain they caused, that somehow their timely guilt and meaningless sorries are enough to bandage your heart back into one.

sometimes you are going to miss a person who was an almost to you.
and you'll feel sad because there is no name for that feeling.
you just feel it in a way that makes you tired to your very bones.

some days I wish the ink of my past would vanish, and all those memories and people would disappear, and all those feelings and tears would die. And lastly, all those stories and dreams would never exist.

Everyone began pointing out what I'd noticed long before,soon I became accustomed to hearing about how I needed more sleep every day.
I assumed someone was going to tell me that again,when instead he looked me in the eye and said,"what's hurting you?" I never gave him an explanation. It's not like me to open up to someone who already has their own pain and explain how countless tears were what made my eyes look so tired,all the sleepless nights exhausted my body.the sadness of others made my own smile grow weary and the strength with which I kept it on my face was shaking.you see,I'm just an arrangement of atoms struggling to keep themselves together,and what hurts,is how I ignored my own falling pieces while picking everyone else's up for them.

He was as a matter of fact,the beauty of the sky,and it hurt the most when I was forced to say goodbye,he was as a matter of fact,the deepness of the ocean,so I longed to meet his eyes until he left my heart broken. I pray everyday for him to come home,why is it me that has to always be alone?ive always wanted true love,the exotic feelings,little did I know that my heart would be bleeding,and in the end I let my eyes close,so from that moment it was like the world froze.

In life you lose people, and I have learnt that sometimes you just have to leave it at that. Do not force things that aren't meant to be. accept their loss and rejoice in memories, someone better is on their way, it just a matter of traffic.

If there was ever a paradise in this broken world, it would be you, mother. for your sweetness makes me forget the harshness of this world, may happiness always befall you, may gardens of green blossom in your presence, may sadness run at the sound of your gentle voice, and may my smile be yours.

I wish I knew what to do with my life, what to do with my heart. I do nothing all day, boredom settles in, I look at the sky so I get to feel even smaller than I already feel and my mind keeps poisoning itself uselessly.