I miss you so much that it leaves this aching within my chest,meaning I can't breathe at 4 a.m,no matter what goes into my lungs,we could've been something so beautiful,and I don't really know who's to blame because we fell in love at the wrong time and that was always going to be our destruction. I miss you. I crave your presence the way an addict craves his drug,the way the day craves the night.

All these stars
and you still
shine the brightest

All these planets
but still,
you are my world

All these circuitous
theories and yet
I still believe in you

All these wounds
but still I will bleed-

all for you

Doesn't it surprise you? To love someone so much, you continue to love them regardless of the pain they caused, that somehow their timely guilt and meaningless sorries are enough to bandage your heart back into one.

A bruise is tender
but does not last,
it leaves me
as I always was.

But a wound I take
much more to heart,
for a scar will always
leave its mark.

And if you should ask
which one you are,
my answer is
you are a scar.

It feels amazing to overcome the obstacles which we once believed would be our ending. To finally wake up from the coma of depression and breathe the fresh air you've craved so much. That feeling of accomplishment we get after defeating our demons and staying strong for ourselves and those around us can never be matched, it's beautiful and it inspires us to keep fighting when the world pushes us down.

I wanted nothing more than to pass the phase where every word I wrote unintentionally echoed your name. I  yearned for the day I'd learn to write all your memories out of my mind, I still wonder how I could ever think that was possible, when each syllable I wrote was inspired by you.
bittersweet. you were not present, but your presence lingered in every thought I spelt out, your essence in every droplet of ink. still, there remain  pages upon pages reminding me of what used to be, what could have been, and my soul, how I wished we would have been.

Everyone began pointing out what I'd noticed long before,soon I became accustomed to hearing about how I needed more sleep every day.
I assumed someone was going to tell me that again,when instead he looked me in the eye and said,"what's hurting you?" I never gave him an explanation. It's not like me to open up to someone who already has their own pain and explain how countless tears were what made my eyes look so tired,all the sleepless nights exhausted my body.the sadness of others made my own smile grow weary and the strength with which I kept it on my face was shaking.you see,I'm just an arrangement of atoms struggling to keep themselves together,and what hurts,is how I ignored my own falling pieces while picking everyone else's up for them.