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Sep 2014 · 202
it won't get out of me
L Sep 2014
it’s all so strange; it won’t get out

i am ablaze, every single part

stiff with heat

take it out of me, take it out of me

please take it out of me

i can feel it shifting in my bones

the details are hazy but the burden might be too much to bear

the disconnect is too strong; you can’t get back
Aug 2014 · 219
pain
L Aug 2014
(i wish something mattered
anything
i wish i mattered
somewhere
to someone)

there are so many things i never wanted to know
and now they won't leave
i never wanted to know
i do not want to know

i don't want to think
i want to be ignorant and unaware
i want to lose my mind and let myself go

it's hurting very suddenly
stabbing ripping tearing slipping
skull enclosing and collapsing
brains squelching out crevices

there are so many things i never wanted to know
but i didn't get a choice

there are so many things i didn't want to feel
but i didn't have a choice

i wish something mattered
i wish i mattered

there are so many things
Aug 2014 · 796
amazing
L Aug 2014
the wind rushing through the trees
birds bursting into sudden flight
pounding thunder and pattering rain

the moment of happiness that sparks
the uncontrollable feelings of joy
when everything flows into everything else

alive
happy
real
present
focus
love
together
Aug 2014 · 288
i'm!!!!!!!!!
L Aug 2014
a certain connection
intimate, confident
give it to me
tell me your name
look me in the eyes
let it fly
Aug 2014 · 459
trust me, i trust you
L Aug 2014
not easy to love
but loved anyway
no matter what
always
Aug 2014 · 270
(ah 7)
L Aug 2014
is there wind beneath my wings?
will i ever rise up and fly?
the light says no!!
*so where do i go
Aug 2014 · 174
full of something
L Aug 2014
it's filling me up
and taking me over
what could it be
Aug 2014 · 612
crying
L Aug 2014
nothing is quite as rotten
as her heart while it's at sea
losing connection and self
only salt and water to grab
as she plunders down the side

the floor shakes
     the shakes tingle
            the tingle rocks
                     the rock jitters

think hard and feel very funky!

and in the end, time will probably pass
Aug 2014 · 293
craggy
L Aug 2014
dying emotionally
aching and breaking
pointless and dramatic
useless and loveless
trapped in a head
a face floating everywhere
but no where i can look
scrambling for understanding
Aug 2014 · 329
(ah 4)
L Aug 2014
words that cannot walk
apostasy? dissipation?
human, all-too-human
representation of a stage of life
mixed opinions & maxims
timeless - everything is?
his body weary but his soul unmoved
heavy with happiness
Aug 2014 · 473
going home
L Aug 2014
reeking
cigarette
perfume
desperation
exuberance
hopelessness
giddiness
­happiness
sadness
adventure
walking around in the rain with a funky hat
catching a bus
going home
not sleeping
Aug 2014 · 426
a compilation - over time
L Aug 2014
love humiliates
will you please validate my life ticket
success is not possible when you care about almost nothing
some things are worth fighting for?
'nice' boy
is the sky everywhere or nowhere?
rotten eggs
purple was the color of the melancholy flower
visceral
painful dreams
what kind of person will you be
Aug 2014 · 422
(ah 3)
L Aug 2014
lying on a cold metal table

dead

incisions up your front

naked

are you still self conscious?
Aug 2014 · 206
(ah 2)
L Aug 2014
things are getting hazy

thing are getting morbid

things are shaking and rolling

**HOW CAN THINGS GET MORE HAZY
Aug 2014 · 382
evil
L Aug 2014
the vile color of everything about you

adds to the torturous bile inside of me

shaking and quivering

i am full of things that make me beg to die

please please please go away
Aug 2014 · 209
words for something
L Aug 2014
you said i am burning up and you are the only one so scared with another
you wanted on the inside   i have ever wanted girl,
to be and you are  to talk to that you don’t want
my friend the only one but i cant you to talk with me,
but here  i want to talk to because i am  that you are
that you lied or oh my god did not tell the whole so bad truth,
that you will stop  i miss you wanting to be 'get better’.
my friend so ******* much if i don’t i am hurting  but i cant tell you that.
and its not because of you i need you just want to be friends
but only because we don't talk  i am going to explode
and you don't seem to care at all   but i don't want to play games
and i need you in my life more than anybody.
this is dumb
Aug 2014 · 442
cars on a highway
L Aug 2014
awareness of each others different universes, awareness that each person understands their own everything and everything within everything and every person is on their own highway, feeling that there are others on their own highway but other than that knowing nothing because we cannot penetrate each others everythings
Aug 2014 · 1.0k
time
L Aug 2014
restless but doin okay

uneasy, ill at ease, restive, fidgety, edgy, on edge, tense, worked up, nervous, agitated, anxious, on tenterhooks, keyed up;

jumpy ,jittery, twitchy, uptight, antsy

sleepless, wakeful

fitful, broken, disturbed, troubled, unsettled

"a restless night"

offering no physical or emotional rest; involving constant activity or motion.
Aug 2014 · 1.9k
lily
L Aug 2014
i mean lily, i mean really.

oh i know what it is.
L Aug 2014
Cigarettes and my shoes. Everything is foggy and bright. My vision has a fuzz on it. I cant think real things. I remember nothing. I know nothing. I am walking. Everything is deep dark. Theres no turning back. The timing never works out. Time yourself better. What is pacing yourself. You know. You got it. I cant breathe my chest is compressed. Compressed chest and knotted belly. Sick. Sick? Sick?? Sick?????? Are you sick. Have you figured it out yet. Have you let it blow through you. Have you felt the sand between your toes. Did it make you cry. Stars are crying. Andromeda. Black holes show everything’s helplessness. In all events, it all ends up the same. Do what you need. Do what you feel. Do the things to make you happy. Don’t **** up! Wait until the absolute last second, wait until it becomes unbearable, swings are dizzy, dizzy is dizzy, we are dizzy together, drifting on a brain of confusion through the milky way, brace for final impact, the airplane has crashed. Ready or not! Ready or not! Ready or not! Take your shirt off Wanna see something cool Here is the ultimate heavyweight champion Here is the god who will save you Why hasn’t the chill pervaded! 4:56am Please leave me alone Please shut up Hey no one knows anything, I know less than nothing, who are you supposed to be, who are you trying to be, are you trying, are you trying? Are you trying?????? Leaf leafs leave leaves, giant wooden tables, the only songbird in the world belongs to, time is warping EVERYTHING, grass isn’t growing anymore, skin isn’t shedding, guts aren’t processing, do you cut any corners on your self care routine? What are your hobbies can you sing can you paint can you thread can you play can you can you can you can you can you
Aug 2014 · 279
(a long time ago 7)
L Aug 2014
words words words i am so tired of words words words words words words (i fly with repitition) words but i thrive on them they keep me going but (but but but but) i don’t want words (bring it all together) they don’t convey what needs to be conveyed they don’t show what i need to show
Aug 2014 · 203
(a long time ago 5)
L Aug 2014
i speak and i think in the generals
i speak and i think and i immediately forget what was
spoken and thought
i speak and i think and i worry
i speak and i think and i contradict myself
i speak and i think and i portray an image of myself to others
i speak and i think and i don’t trust
i speak and i think
Aug 2014 · 413
(angry)
L Aug 2014
i dont know anything anymore
thats not okay to anyone else
i must know
i cant know
its hard because i dont give a ****
but sometimes i do
and when i do it is hard
Aug 2014 · 233
(a long time ago 3)
L Aug 2014
the conflicting feelin of
wanting to bleed and
not wanting to bleed
they say its addicting because of the chemicals
in your body
that respond
and you still want it
over and over
and i want it
but beyond the chemicals i think
actually im not sure
i dont know anything anymore
Aug 2014 · 252
(a long time ago 2)
L Aug 2014
i am asleep
goodnight friend
melancholy
my head spins
my nose tickles
oh i am in the car
with my mom
and she is yelling at me
oops i forgot
i don’t know if i should pay attention
probably not
there goes a red ball
lying in the gutter
there it is
streaked with dirt
goodbye red ball
goodnight old friend
Aug 2014 · 313
(a long time ago)
L Aug 2014
everyone is trippin ballz and i wanna do acid
i wanna live in a tent with a flap and some pants and thats it
i could live on beans and veggies
i could have ***** feet and rotten mouth taste
id do that in exchange for happiness
in exchange to understand and grasp
pure. happiness..
my stomach hurts
where am i
Aug 2014 · 282
(August 1st, 2014)
L Aug 2014
I am not losing my mind I am losing my mind. I am not sick I am sick. I am not okay I am okay. I am not here right now I am here right now. I am not calm I am calm. I am not confused I am confused. I am not lost I am lost. I do not understand I understand. I can not move I can move. I can not breathe I can breathe. I can not pretend I can pretend. I am not responsible I am responsible. I am not happy I am happy. I do not believe in myself I do believe in myself. I am not aware I am aware. I am not trouble I am trouble. I am not hungry I am hungry. I am not sick I am sick. I am not full I am full. I am not empty I am empty. I am not creative I am creative. I am not worth it I am worth it.

— The End —