for everything as it should be
and may be
and could be

life i begin to grasp
as i start to laugh
slip through the misunderstood
tumultuous waves in your belly
life i begin to grasp
my mind i let go
one or the other
never both

There is something here that I want to say
and once again, it’s all about me, it’s all in my head.

Those unspoken currents in the air,
the branches that tear the existence of today
to swirl reality together with the past.

The weight of more than a bear,
colors mixed past despair,
the futile attempts that can’t ever cease.

Significance beyond your grasp or my own,
desperate aches to enter into the other.

How do you reach a conclusion when there is no ending to be found?

i began to grow but then,
how do i say
"                 "                    
and yet it is hidden behind
what you may find
to be your truth
even after the adamant suggest
to the otherwise

and to you, to be
might utterly convince me
unless my own falsity continues to disease my visibility

so what is it, we are back again
this time is too deafening for any type of comprehending

i'm tired, go away
leave me to my endless wait

/ i panicked and it all turned quick / i think my heads gonna blow right of my *** / in a spaceship / going much too fast / look / you see / my steaming feet / oh god / oh boy / here we go again /

i swear to God, there is a piece there somewhere that is missing and has been for all of time. but only when the wind stirs and i begin to ruminate on the answer of what it might be, where it might have gone or even where it came from, does the overwhelming body swirl of pain and sorrow take me over completely. all else otherwise is just a slightly discomforting numbness. (the secret to the madness is all in that there numbness, the numb dumb game to play.) :(

within a state of unknowing
we're trapped!
reality is an illusion, caught and taken away in another deep slumber
continuous, relentless feelings of fear, regret, shame, memories, future
the time to relax has caught the black death
anger.
all alone.
nothing you can control because it's all in your head

what i'm saying is:
look to the moment where your mind is the weakest, your thoughts the most rampant, and THERE some unidentifiable type of evil has taken root
causing pure confusion
and a disconnect
that squeezes all clarity from your brain until ALL is murky
goodnight