This six year relationship has reached it's end
Just like this old theater we're totally run down
The actors take their final bend
As the Ruby finally touches the ground

Just like this old theater we're totally run down
Hours in an empty building constructing the essence of the show
As the Ruby finally touches the ground
Finally free of that the turmoil we had to undergo

Hours in an empty building constructing the essence of the show
Putting our life's essence into things seen for 4 nights
Finally free of that the turmoil we had to undergo
We turn down the lights

Putting our life's essence into things seen for 4 nights
Everything will still live in our hearts
We turn down the lights
We pack up the sets, turn down the lights

Everything will still live in our hearts
The actors take their final bend
We pack up the sets, turn down the lights
This six year relationship has reached it's end

I Lied
the last time we spoke
You could have handled it
I couldn't
The Truth

The Truth Is
I couldn't handle
a tiny baby
wrapped in pink
in my arms
and knowing
knowing that she'd face
the same struggles I had
(I do)
The struggles
that are invisible to everyone else
But those who face them

The Truth Is
I do feel that darkness
the desperation
the desolation
even when I'm in a sea of people

And that sea
feels like it will swallow my down
close in on my and sink me to my own ocean
of self hatred
my voice leaves me
my happiness was left ashore
(a long time ago)

The Truth is
I couldn't handle knowing
as the moon rose to his apex
that as your brothers went out
as your peers partied
you would wander the streets
restless
feckless
and haphazardly
Not seeing the world around you
Not recognizing the world around you
walking through it
as though walking through a pool of molasses
Languidly and morosely
in a trance of forever dejection

I couldn't handle knowing
you were out there
as the drunks on the streets hooted and hollered
and reached out to touch you
And you walked on
Not realizing their ulterior motives

The Truth is
I couldn't as you fell
for the first man to love you
because love was such a foreign emotion
(I would love you
but you would fear the love of all others
push them away
without even realizing)

I couldn't stand watching
as that love turned cold and horrible
and you never even realized
(because I had never given you
a good relationship
to look up to)
as that man, boy
exploited your heart
took liberties that he never should have

The Truth is
I do see the demons
moving in the shadows at night
moving in the bright light of day

The Truth is
I feel the molasses desolation
the sea of hatred
the listless nights

The Truth is
I knew you would feel the same things
I couldn't do it
I couldn't watch as you ruined yourself
I couldn't stand watching you
become me

When Jesus walked away from my i didn't care
In my life, he had never really been there
Just a force I confessed to once a week
I didn't miss his prescence

In my life, he had never really been there
Like a deadbeat daddy who never cared
I didn't miss his prescence
He's departure hurt, but not enough

Like a deadbeat daddy who never cared
He let mother, brother, sister fall
He's departure hurt, but not enough
He was never there to begin with

He let mother, brother, sister fall
I don't think he ever cared or loved
He was never there to begin with


I don't think he ever cared or loved
In my life, he had never really been there
Just a force I confessed to once a week
When Jesus walked away from me I didn't care

the first time you walk down the street
and young girls
grown boys
cross the street
to get away from you

the first time you go to
Best Buy
and you notice
security following you

it’s the first time a crime
you have no clue about
is instantly pinned on you

the first time something goes missing
and they search your backpack

the first time you’re asked
to empty your pockets

the first time a friend
is told to take care
when around you
and maybe pick better friends

It’s the first time you realize
that you are the
danger
parents warn their children of
just because
the colour of your skin
that really burns

the voices were too LOUD
they overtook my mind
they overtook my attention
they overtook all of me
I could not hear
I could not see
I could not be me anymore

When sleep finally came
I had to fight the demons
I had to try and chase them from my mind
But there were more than just I could handle
More than I could take
I tried to run but they were FASTER
I couldn't do anything
They just came closer

I woke up in the middle of the night
thinking it was a reprieve from it all
but the voices were back
but different
Voices of long ago friends
Long ago loves
reminding me that I am UNLOVEABLE
Telling me that no matter hard I try
I will never win
Everytime they take a breath
I think they are done
But the just keep returning

Morning comes
finally
unexpectedly
No sleep was had
not rest was achieved
More fighting and struggling was had
than that which occurs in the day

So that's why I didn't answer your' call
I'm sorry