Nolan Bucsis

Nolan Bucsis Aug 8

Even the little
Bits
Of fame and notoriety
Are
Too much.

I'd like to
Withdrawal
Again
Into
Shakes
Fomication,
And,
Myself.

The way
I wrote it,
None of you
Will get me right.

And,
That's the point.

I am nothing
To
Myself.

And a whole
Bunch of
*******,
To you.

Nolan Bucsis Aug 8

Different Maladaptive Coping Mechanisms

And,
It's like every
Moment
You're gone.

And out of
My reach.

I dunno
If I told you.

But I forgot
A lot.

We're our own
Fantasy and false self,
Anyway.

Truth is.

I became
Callous.

Stay gone
This time.

Please,
Spare me
The bother.

Nolan Bucsis Aug 7

Different

Everyone
Is so clean
These days.

Not even a stain
On their shirts
Or their souls.

Nothing
Well lived in,
Rugged
Ruddy
Faded with time.

And amidst the
Junkies,
Metheads,
And assorted
Other people.

I still stand
Out.

And,
They like to remind me
Of how strange
I
Really
Am.

Nolan Bucsis Aug 7

Memories

You get used
To living
Past midnight
Talking in places
You aren't supposed
To be,
With people you might
Wanna
Forget.

I'm at
Odds
With reality.

I'm sitting there
On the highway
Drinking coffee
Til two am,
High,
With people
I just met,
Twenty years ago.

The rain is
Hitting the big
Plexiglass
Smudged
Window I'm looking
Out,
At the tracers
Of lights
Barrelling down
The Number 1.

But,
That world
Doesn't exist
Anymore.

Likely most of
Those people,
Are dead.

Nolan Bucsis Aug 7

I Used to Go There

Overdosing
And
Living,
Is supposed
To be this
Congruence
Of complicated emotions.

It's not.

It's,
Unfortunately,
Waking up.

Nolan Bucsis Aug 7

My Life Perspective

Never thought
I'd be,
Anything other
Than a
Useless
Drug addict.

But it turns
Out,
I'm alive.

That's somethin.

Nolan Bucsis Aug 7

Truth Is

Everything
I've written
Has just,
Been.

A waste
Of time.

But it's alright,
Even if
I'm
Poorly worded.

It's still a means
Of expressing
What feelings,
I have left.

This is a coping
Mechanism,
Maladaptive
Moribund
Musings
Of a paralyzed
Mind.