I've never been very good
But, the good things I've done.

Disorients people
And, they'd prefer to believe
What they want.

So who am I to disrupt
A disingenuous delusion.

I am a gnat.

An insignificant nothing
So far below average
I'm in the catacombs.

No one asked me if I wanted to be saved.
I've done things that I'm ashamed of
Only one I regret.

Maybe that's good enough.
But I doubt it
Even though I confessed my sin
To God.

I am a beast.

I just want it all to end.
This self doubt.
This self hate.
This insubstantiation about who I
Really
Am.

I am the static on the radio
A drop in a vast ocean of mediocrity.

An obsolete technology.
Living on life support
Sighing through infinity.

I am.
Nothing.
Special.

There is nothing
But the madness
Of constant isolation.

I would like to peel off my face
Pour on vinegar
A penance to the beauty of life.

And me,
So ugly,
So ******,
Bleeding regret onto a page.

I wish to be ground into a carnal paste,
Fed to the dogs,
Consumed,
Destroyed completely.