Into the darkness.
Away from the light.
The ***** of creepy crawly things.
Rotten and impure.

One can't steal the sun.
One can't hide in noon day.
One can't run when the sun is on the horizon.
There's nowhere to abscond to, to be free from the.
Remand of life in the searing heat.
A jail of vile sweat.

I do not seek illumination Lucifer.
For in the shadows there lies me.
Mangy.
Rabid.
Starving.
Coyote the trickster stuck in desperation.
Nipping at the air.
Biting at the ghosts of dead men.
Dehydrated and delirious.

And if raven stole the sun.
Coyote ate your pets.
And barks at you.
So you think he's
A dog.

Ensconced in my own shadow.
Coyote.
Offers a panicked prayer.
To all the dim places.
Where in the din of silence.
I might lick.
My wounds.

I offer this, my life.
As a sacrifice.
To the restless dead.
To the hungry ghosts.
And all lines that end.

The fury of the tornado is fierce.

And, we have such little time.
Let me defy the fates.
May the Gods accept my offering.
Of blood.

As,
The shedding of blood.
Is sacred.

Death.
My friend.
Let us make amends.
Bury the hatchet.

For I smell war in the air.
I hear the cacophony of artillery.
Rumbling in the distance.

And, if you'll let me death.
I shall **** as many of the invader.
As you will let me.

Let me die in vain.
Unknown and unloved.
So my ancestors won't weep.

For my cowardice.
I shall bravely march off to my anihilation.
And I hope I go to Hell.
Ontop of a pile of corpses.
Of these savages.

And what is this life.
But the falling of sand.
Through fingers.

Please death.
May I take the enemy with me.
If he comes.

Let me send you lovers.
Into the afterlife.
Til you come yourself.

To get.
Me.

Every night.
I dream I die.
And,
I am reborn in the morning.

I have one foot in that far off place.
One foot in here.

I first went through the ego death.
Of a.
Shaman
At 18.

I channel spirits.
In charnel psychosis.
I am them.
When I act like them.

The mask I wear today.
Is never the mask I wore yesterday.
And, who am I?
Among all these ghosts.

Light breaks softly.
Through the cracks.
I was told was in everything.
But I run from it.

Because it ruins the dark.

I will be an addendum.
In the book of life.
A simple caveat.
That the light couldn't reach.

My own personal.
Perpetual.
Darkness.

And you.
Illuminating my disgust.

I think fondly.
About the end.
Of death.

No more depression.
No more thoughts.
No more failures to be ashamed of.

A still peaceful calm.
That I won't experience.

No loss.
No wants.
No screaming at the sun for everything to stop.
No fear.
No disappointment.
No wondering why.
No socialising.
No self doubt.
No never eating.

And all these addictions.
Will just end.

No one to let me down.
No more discomfort.
No wasting idle time.

I will be and recede.
Into the nothingness I crave.

An eternal dreamless sleep.

Its heaven really.

I am the epilogue.
Of Mr. Self Destruct.
The degenerate who somehow.
Pulled through all the overdoses.
To live unprepared.
Without a plan.

If living on borrowed time was a person.
It would be me.

Failure to die.
Has led to me becoming.
Incompatible with living.

So I eke out a life.
Of nothing.
A lobotomized.
Hikiko mori.

A world renouncer.
Waiting for the reaper.
Alone in my room.

No one will notice when I die.
Til the smell gets so bad.
That they'll know.

I left a putrid black stain.
On the floor.