Nolan Bucsis

Nolan Bucsis Dec 2019

I used to say I found.
My joy.
In the Kali Yuga.

But.
I really found.

A quiet.

Dead,
place.

Where endurance.
Is all that.
Matters.

Nolan Bucsis Dec 2019

I don't know what to do anymore.

Nothing ever turns out.
The way I want it to.

It just happens.
And I cope.

As best.
I.
Can.

Or not at all.

Nolan Bucsis Dec 2019

It's harder to wake up.

And amid the tumult.
Of my life.
I find nothing other than the despair.
That this will always be it.

This.

Sinking feeling in my gut.

Falling apart.
All over.
Again.

Nolan Bucsis Nov 2019

Erryday

I can't get going.
On this horribly dull day.
I'm depressed.
As always.

And,
There's no hope.
No help.
No sympathy.
No nothing.

Not for me.

Just staring at a wall.
Distractions.
And.
Death.

Nolan Bucsis Nov 2019

I can't

Measured and metered.

Everything nice.
Beauty and spice.

We're all just some drone.

Out there in this magnificent future they wrote about.

In magazines.

In story books.

In the infinite imagination of the next slug to crawl out of the mud and screams at the lack.
Of meaning.
In this.
Life.

No.
I don't want to believe in a better tomorrow.

I can't.

Nolan Bucsis Nov 2019

Torpor

Am I as important to you.
As you are to me.

I hold onto these memories.
Even though I've tried to forget.

And, you were my everything.

And, you were my light.

And,
Now.

I just stare vacant into the soft whimper I've become.
Feed my isolation.

Stare at the wall.

Nolan Bucsis Nov 2019

Procrastination

Someday never came.
And I'm not.
As smart.
Or handsome.
Or strong.
As I once thought I was.

Like these words.
I'm forced and poorly put together.
And I have no friends.
No spare lovers in my bedroom.

No life.

Just the constant isolation.
Years of distractions.
From this oh so scarred skin stretched taught over a wasted life.

And is it as clear to you.
As it is to me.

We're all just mediocre.

Hiding our faults with.
Tomorrow will be better.
Tomorrow I'll get there.

Tomorrow.
Everything.
Will.
Be.
Just.
Fine