Nolan Bucsis

Nolan Bucsis Jul 2018

Maybe out there somewhere.
In the by and by.
I'll find that motivation.
I'm lacking.

To.
Get out of this.
Coma with lucid dreams.

Nolan Bucsis Jun 2018

Depressed

Still I live in stasis.
Still I don't do a thing.
Still that constant depression.

I just exist.
And put matter in my mouth.

How I long for normal.

Nolan Bucsis Jun 2018

Why did I wake up #2

I slept through tomorrow.
Woke up in why now.
And I'm about to recede.
Back into the nightmares.
I have every night

I'm a useless eater.

So I starve myself.
So as not to waste the food.

Just everyone's expectations.

Nolan Bucsis Jun 2018

Funeral March of Facebook Friends.

I don't know you.
But, who I do know.
I didn't like.

And, we never bonded.
You were just young.
And stupid.

And you annoyed me too much.

Nolan Bucsis Jun 2018

No. Not anymore.

At least when I'm crazy.
The sadness won't set in.
Long enough.

For me to get high.
Just to make it.

Through the day.

Nolan Bucsis Jun 2018

Fragile to the Point of Scar Tissue

Hope is a lie they tell women.
So they take the abuse.
Of broken men.

And me.
It left a long time ago.
And, I'm just stuck.

With the bruises.
That beat it out of me.

The lies and the deceit.
The longing of.
Other people.

Nolan Bucsis Jun 2018

Maybe I'll Get Empathy, Other than a Hole

I can't remember the sound of her voice.
Her touch.
Or anything we said to each other in confidence.
I don't remember her laugh.
Or the way she smelled.

But her face is etched.
Into my very being.

So much so that I wish.
I could just.
Forget.