You stop crying out.
In pain.
When you realize.
No one cares.
But you.
So instead.
You figure out how to not.
Communicate.
Any discomfort.

What kinda happiness.
Is it.
That never shares with anyone.
And.
I'm more alive in my dreams.
Than being.
Cognizant.

I never wanted to play.
Nice.
With the other kids.
I just.
Wanted to be alone.
Now.
I just wanna.
Recede on back into that nothingness.
I know so well.
My good friend.
Cushioned in silence.
Drifting by myself.

I try to remember.
That in the grand scheme.
Of things.
I have never been more.
Than an utter failure.
Who managed to live longer.
Than he should have.

Ain't no rockbottom.
When.
There's no where to fall to.
Floating.
So far out in.
Space.

And,
I've been a loser.
Since I can remember.
With nowhere to go.

Nothing changes.
Nothing's really the matter.
Just.
Today.
Like yesterday's tomorrow.

Another side note.
In my personal diary.
Of it doesn't matter.
Never did.