Nolan Bucsis

Nolan Bucsis Nov 2017

Argh

I want to scream.
At the top of my lungs.
Til the veins burst in my neck.
Blood streams from my throat.
Vocal chords shredded to itty bitty bits.
That I can't choke down.

I want to bellow into the aether.
Of what I imagine to be a caring.
Invisible.
Entity.

Let me off.
Get me out.

Nolan Bucsis Nov 2017

Work and Literature.

I wanted to be a beautiful.
Free form poem.
When I was younger.

A poignant well put saying.
That touched someone.
Who recognized.
Something inside.

And now,
I just want a job.

Nolan Bucsis Nov 2017

The Future

I wanna get lost in that.
Could have been.
We thought we had.
Tomorrow.
Just, a little ways away.
Someday.

Nolan Bucsis Nov 2017

Same ***** day. Same **** problems.

I can't seem to manage.
The basics.
Of life.

I just wake up.
Collect my body parts.
And, lurch.
Forward.
To do nothing.
All day.

And, it's boring.
But, I don't know how to live.
Just.
Exist.

Nolan Bucsis Nov 2017

Vile biology

I hate her.
Because I've never.
Seen,
Anyone.

As beautiful.

And, I can't control.
The way I act.
Even though.

I know.
Better.

Nolan Bucsis Oct 2017

ikikikikik

There's nothing left.
But that low dull buzz.
Of snow.
On a static screen.
And my mind.
Trying to find a reason.

Nolan Bucsis Oct 2017

I Scream into the Nothingness.

In my private life.
I dance to myself.
In a mad trance.
Seeking a release.
From being.
Alive.

Melt into a neurotic.
Tune.
On repeat.
A nostalgic memory.
From the thirties.
Hazy.

Because I've never.
Been there.
Only.
Here.
As I always am.
Stuck.
In this repetition.

Edith Piaf.
Singing to me in a language.
I don't understand.
In my own personal.
Kali Yuga.
Without Rudra.
To stop.
My.
Destruction.

I will implode into this.
Catatonia.