I can't be crazy to other people.

If I am.
The beautiful what could be.
Dies.

And, it turns out.

I'm a rabid loner.
Who cant get attached.

I have abandoned my life.
For an escape.
From my bad decisions.
My lack of privacy.
And.
My own mind.

The only time I experienced.
Something beautiful.
Something magical.
A moment where I was caught up in some.
External force.
Was when.
I stopped.
Trying to find it.

Oxytocin and dopamine.
Are necessary for.
Love.
And, your emotions.
Can be turned on and off.
With poor diet.
And, less drugs.

I drove across Canada.
At eighteen.
With an artist friend.
To run away from home.
For ***** and giggles.
Driving for days.
And, going mad.
Stuck up in the shrub
The vista of the same tree.
Motorsports on freeways.
The car become an appendage.

I got stuck there in that.
Sunset.
I left in my memory.
Hearing songs.
You remember.
From years ago.
That never sound so sweet.
As when they remind you.
Of something happy.

Optimism doesn't suit me.
As I exist.
As a mote of dust.
In some rundown.
Abandoned.
House.
The low glow of lamplight.
And classic rock.
Stuck in my personal.
Let down.