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On a distant radio
Horst Wessel Lied will
Lull me to sleep
With promises
Of Apocalypse.

I'm one too many
Marching songs
Deep
In
The mire
And muck
Of half hearted
Beliefs.

As long
As it's shocking.

That's all that matters.

Considerate?

I've been kidnapped
By life,
Abducted by
Existence.

A prisoner in the
Land of languid
Happiness.

I sink.

Down here in
The doldrums.

Nothing gets better,
So I make it
Worse.

It's not
Nihilism,
It's inversion.

A contrarian
To my core.

My lukewarm crusade
Set to the cadence
Of German
Bugaboos.
Cold.

So very
Cold,
And,
Callous.

You never should
Have left me
Alone,
To freeze
In the wilderness.

By myself,
And,
All those friends
Disappeared.

Their sympathy
Turned into
Disgust.

And I found
I was warmed
By my rage,
My hate,
My spite
My contempt
And
Pride.

Your tough love,
Your good intentions
From your comfortable
Bed,
Did
Nothing,
Except make me rely
On myself.

No angels to
Save me from
The exposure.

No compassion
To warm me up.

Just the fiery
Fury
Of
*******.

Cast off
And forgotten,
You wonder
Why I'm so bleak,
As you strike me
In my weakness.

There will be
A reckoning.

And I
Will be out
In the cold,
Waiting.
I end up
Where I'm
Going
As later turns
Into right now.

And,
I bought
The ticket.

So,
I take the ride.

Yesterday there
Was supposed
To be
No tomorrow.

Yet,
Here I am,
A child of God,
Given more time
Than I deserve.

Or.

Even
Want.
Every day
Drones on like the
Next.

And I'm tired
Of this life.

All these people
Deserve
A good time,
Cause daddy called
Them names.

These sadistic
Cowards,
So called
Positive
People
Who can't leave me
Alone.

Say the script,
They demand,
Love innocuous *******,
Praise the mediocre,
And know
Our suffering
Is greater than all,
Even though it's
Just a mild
Inconvenience.

They demand
I
Worship at their alter
And validate their existence.

They're more important than me,
The authorities
Told them so
And they're rebels,
Rebels rebelling
Against disobedience.

Conformist
Swine.

You know,
Everyone's like them
And they **** all over
Your wants,
Your perspective,
Your expression.

Because,
You deserve it
Cause,
You're not different
Like them,
You're different like you,
And we hate that,
With love.

They're entitled
To their opinion
And
It's only right
To destroy yours.

The priests of the state
Demand
It.

They have the fairness
Of tyranny,
The good
Of dictation,
And the heavy burden
Of some kinda truth.

Everything,
Sanitized.

Everyone
Stereotyped.

And not only do they
Know your life
Better than you,
They know how to fix it
By destroying it,
And making it
Their own.
Nolan Bucsis Aug 27
I will find you
On the River Styx,
Charon,
And
I will steal from you
The farthing,
To pay the
Devil.

Hades
On
Fire.
Nolan Bucsis Aug 27
The veil
Is drawn in the
Inbetween
Spaces.

Where spirits dance
With the schizophrenic
In an apophenia,
Meaning
Becomes subjective,
When you see signs
In everything.

So cast the bones
Draw the blood
And make for
Yourself
A sin offering.

The goat
Is often not from
Mendes.

But I crave the darkness
And din
Of dusk,
Perpetually without,
Dawn.

Return to the frigid cold
Of shadows.
Nolan Bucsis Aug 24
To be bare.

To be vulnerable.

To be ripped down
To your support
Structure.

And,
Naked.

In front of everyone.

Full of judgement.

And,
If I cared enough
For what people
Would think.

I wouldn't have given
You these
Notes.

From the
Underground.
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