tonight
Your thieving fingers wandered
Over my exposed textured canvas
Absorbing my earth browns and love reds
holding them for random
Blackmailing my sensibilities  ..and
Casually tossing to the floor
I gathered my rainbow, my ocean’s so blue
Sophisticated smooth opaque blacks
         yellows hidden in  sunlight
fire and seductions of my reds
Searching the floor for every drop
scraping the remains from beneath my finger nails  
        and tuck them
Away from sight
         In a jar named reserves
Along with stolen kisses and goodnight wishes
Serving the purpose of reminding me to never forget
Your heart beating into my chest
But drumming out the sound of me living..
     Sometimes I forget that I’m breathing
I lose my self in you
    I hold pieces of your toxins  
Soaking them into my pores, seeping between my fingers
Scratching and Chafing
letting them slide between my thighs
But I don’t fight it
Eyes wide shut
  I mourn you
In my arms I hold pieces of your lies
In these arms I hold tattered broken dreams
In these arms I hold so much
that I laid myself down somewhere
    and
Absentmindedly  walked away
And I minded it absolutely
I lost myself for loving you
Don’t know if I’ll ever find me