"..You said there will never come a time when you would not be waiting for me, until the silence fell in and fell out. Few things changed, you know..My words; the words that had been enveloped in my heart, waiting for the seal to be broken, just to let out everything that had been hidden, just to unravel the secrets.. Because right now, the letters seem more audible than my bare voice.."

"You hurt. You recover. You move on".
"You suffer. You learn. You change".
Odds are pretty good, you're just going to get hurt again. But each time, you learn something. Each time it's going to be different. Each time, you come out of it a little stronger, and at some point you realize that there are more flavors of pain than coffee.

Pain does two things: It teaches you, tells you that you're alive. Then it passes away and leaves you changed. It leaves you wiser, sometimes. Sometimes it leaves you stronger. Either way, pain leaves its mark, and everything important that will ever happen to you in life is going to involve It in one degree or another."

a leaf falls
unattavhed from the stalk
flying in the wind

before landing
on the cold ground
manages to blow
the other leaves

My body isn't perfect.
I don't walk with confidence.
I get into fights with my parents and friends.
Some nights I'd rather be by myself then
out partying.
I cry over the smallest things sometimes.
There are days that I get through with
forced smiles and fake laughs.
Sometimes I try to convince myself that
things are okaywhen they're not.
I'm not ugly but I'm not beautiful.
I don't look as good in real life as I do in
pictures.
There are some nights that I cry myself to
sleep.
I constantly think I'm not good enough.
I'm imperfect but I'm perfectly me.

White backgrounds and blotched pieces,
Now you do know how many.
Rationalizing and pondering upon
To things you would either say or care to.
Sunken emotions of both the ends lie deep within,
And if sharing holds a stand, it would be with you
With a reluctant hope that I would be, for you, too.
What does it mean to be one and for all?
And if nothing matters, shine.
Letters for words
Words for heart
That's how it is
To be
And to be everything more...

Everything seems so impossible,
I always feel so invisible,
I kept on staring at the empty atmosphere,
Endlessly wishing for you to be here.

Why do I keep on thinking about scenarios
that will never happen in real life?
Why do I keep on imagining things
if they would only cause an emotional strife?

Should I continue calling this a daydream
or should I start calling this "nightdream"?
This is indeed a mixture of a daydream and nightdream
and an emotion that got lost in the midair.

Now!
Ask Him for forgiveness,
Sujood and drift away the loneliness,
Feel the greatness of His love,
For it may be your last sujood.
Now!
Read the revelation from God,
Qoran the finest piece for you,
For it may be your last reading.
Now!
Moist your paralyze tongue,
With dhikr and tasbeeh,
Istighfar and hear the beat of your heart,
Aching for Him,
For it may be your last dhikr.
Now!
Chased for good deeds,
Locked away your oblivion,
Because it may be your last attempt.
Now...
What are you doing now?

I’m tired of waking up in tears
Cause I can’t put to bed these phobias and fears
I’m new to this grief, I can’t explain
But I’m no stranger to, the heartache and the pain
The fire I began is burning me alive
But I know better than to leave and let it die
I’m a silhouette, asking every now and then
Is it over yet? Will I ever feel again?
I’m a silhouette, chasing rainbows on my own
But the more I try to move on, the more I feel alone
So I watch the summer stars to lead me home
I’m sick of the past I can’t erase
A jumble of footprints, and hasty steps I can’t retrace
The mountain of things I still regret
Is a vile reminder that I would rather just forget
No matter where I go
The fire I began is burning me alive
But I know better than to leave and let it die
I’m a silhouette, asking every now and then
Is it over yet? Will I ever smile again?
Cause I walk alone
No matter where I go
I’m a silhouette, asking every now and then
Now and then Is it over yet? Will I ever love again?
I’m a silhouette, chasing rainbows on my own
But the more I try to move on, the more I feel alone
So I watch the summer stars to lead me home

Fall into an enormous jeopardy catastrophe hole,
seeking for a sacred love and some hopes,
its just too adamant to appease all,
the burdens but i’ll never fall,
as long as the faith saves me,
i’m giving my all.

Watching the ghastly sky in sight,
and the waves of the clouds seem fading,
the cloud manoeuvres gracefully as the wind blows,
and the thoughts of you emblaze my mind,
relinquish me idle helpless,
those ghastly cloud forever in sorrow.

“I have finally slowly started to hate your existence. You know the state of your mind and body just before you drown into your sleep? The feeling is just like that. You slowly are involved into it without knowing much. But then, you are someone I had once been in love with and that creates a conflict between my heart and my mind. And it breaks my heart to accept the fact that we are not like what we were once. All the nights that we had spent together, not making love but playing action games till 12’o clock at midnight, sometimes even a bit more. Watching movies because you loved them and I could never deny watching them because you were what mattered to me more than my choices. Two scoops of ice-cream and that is exactly how you loved it. Flannel shirts, deep blue jeans and Vans that is how you carried yourself, everyday. It’s amazing and strange how things change, how promises are left to be broken even though you say you would never break them. God, I am left perplexed with these thoughts revolving around and in my head. But I swear to God, I had never wanted to hate you even though you gave me enough reasons to. I hate your existence but it shatters me; I am left shuddered. And yet, every time that I come across you or even get the slightest sight of you, I cannot help but smile. Yes, I still smile. I do not know why, but I do. I want to hit you, whack you, and slap some sense into you. Where have you been missing, where has that part to you that everyone loved, gone? I want these words to reverberate in your entire soul. I want you back. I need you back.”