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Aug 2014 · 450
`
hematoniss Aug 2014
`
you are here
in the colors
i see
the textures
that kiss
my fingertips
you exist presently
in everything
not just
a mere memory
#HeartSoup
Aug 2014 · 351
1:46am
hematoniss Aug 2014
this trains of thoughts
are unstoppable
but are going nowhere
Jul 2014 · 395
Really
hematoniss Jul 2014
Too many thoughts.

Too little courage to speak out.

I am lost.

I really don't know what to do.
Jul 2014 · 375
&&
hematoniss Jul 2014
&&
"You hurt. You recover. You move on".
"You suffer. You learn. You change".
Odds are pretty good, you're just going to get hurt again. But each time, you learn something. Each time it's going to be different. Each time, you come out of it a little stronger, and at some point you realize that there are more flavors of pain than coffee.

Pain does two things: It teaches you, tells you that you're alive. Then it passes away and leaves you changed. It leaves you wiser, sometimes. Sometimes it leaves you stronger. Either way, pain leaves its mark, and everything important that will ever happen to you in life is going to involve It in one degree or another."
Jul 2014 · 341
02:08 am
hematoniss Jul 2014
02:08 in the morning,6 seconds before it all sink in.
I just fake another smile and pretend.
Let it burn in my sleep, please.
Jul 2014 · 759
Now!
hematoniss Jul 2014
Now!
Ask Him for forgiveness,
Sujood and drift away the loneliness,
Feel the greatness of His love,
For it may be your last sujood.
Now!
Read the revelation from God,
Qoran the finest piece for you,
For it may be your last reading.
Now!
Moist your paralyze tongue,
With dhikr and tasbeeh,
Istighfar and hear the beat of your heart,
Aching for Him,
For it may be your last dhikr.
Now!
Chased for good deeds,
Locked away your oblivion,
Because it may be your last attempt.
Now...
What are you doing now?
Jul 2014 · 277
-
hematoniss Jul 2014
-
"..You said there will never come a time when you would not be waiting for me, until the silence fell in and fell out. Few things changed, you know..My words; the words that had been enveloped in my heart, waiting for the seal to be broken, just to let out everything that had been hidden, just to unravel the secrets.. Because right now, the letters seem more audible than my bare voice.."
Jun 2014 · 270
Untitled
hematoniss Jun 2014
“I have finally slowly started to hate your existence. You know the state of your mind and body just before you drown into your sleep? The feeling is just like that. You slowly are involved into it without knowing much. But then, you are someone I had once been in love with and that creates a conflict between my heart and my mind. And it breaks my heart to accept the fact that we are not like what we were once. All the nights that we had spent together, not making love but playing action games till 12’o clock at midnight, sometimes even a bit more. Watching movies because you loved them and I could never deny watching them because you were what mattered to me more than my choices. Two scoops of ice-cream and that is exactly how you loved it. Flannel shirts, deep blue jeans and Vans that is how you carried yourself, everyday. It’s amazing and strange how things change, how promises are left to be broken even though you say you would never break them. God, I am left perplexed with these thoughts revolving around and in my head. But I swear to God, I had never wanted to hate you even though you gave me enough reasons to. I hate your existence but it shatters me; I am left shuddered. And yet, every time that I come across you or even get the slightest sight of you, I cannot help but smile. Yes, I still smile. I do not know why, but I do. I want to hit you, whack you, and slap some sense into you. Where have you been missing, where has that part to you that everyone loved, gone? I want these words to reverberate in your entire soul. I want you back. I need you back.”
Jun 2014 · 339
a falling leaf
hematoniss Jun 2014
a leaf falls
unattavhed from the stalk
flying in the wind

before landing
on the cold ground
manages to blow
the other leaves
Jun 2014 · 599
The manoeuvre of the cloud
hematoniss Jun 2014
Fall into an enormous jeopardy catastrophe hole,
seeking for a sacred love and some hopes,
its just too adamant to appease all,
the burdens but i’ll never fall,
as long as the faith saves me,
i’m giving my all.

Watching the ghastly sky in sight,
and the waves of the clouds seem fading,
the cloud manoeuvres gracefully as the wind blows,
and the thoughts of you emblaze my mind,
relinquish me idle helpless,
those ghastly cloud forever in sorrow.
May 2014 · 640
the kite of fate
hematoniss May 2014
you and me
the kite of fate
suspended here
then burst free
suspended yet again

you and me
spun
smack in the middle
with words
encoded with meanings
and interpretations
Mar 2014 · 4.8k
Silhouette
hematoniss Mar 2014
I’m tired of waking up in tears
Cause I can’t put to bed these phobias and fears
I’m new to this grief, I can’t explain
But I’m no stranger to, the heartache and the pain
The fire I began is burning me alive
But I know better than to leave and let it die
I’m a silhouette, asking every now and then
Is it over yet? Will I ever feel again?
I’m a silhouette, chasing rainbows on my own
But the more I try to move on, the more I feel alone
So I watch the summer stars to lead me home
I’m sick of the past I can’t erase
A jumble of footprints, and hasty steps I can’t retrace
The mountain of things I still regret
Is a vile reminder that I would rather just forget
No matter where I go
The fire I began is burning me alive
But I know better than to leave and let it die
I’m a silhouette, asking every now and then
Is it over yet? Will I ever smile again?
Cause I walk alone
No matter where I go
I’m a silhouette, asking every now and then
Now and then Is it over yet? Will I ever love again?
I’m a silhouette, chasing rainbows on my own
But the more I try to move on, the more I feel alone
So I watch the summer stars to lead me home
Mar 2014 · 295
friendship
hematoniss Mar 2014
White backgrounds and blotched pieces,
Now you do know how many.
Rationalizing and pondering upon
To things you would either say or care to.
Sunken emotions of both the ends lie deep within,
And if sharing holds a stand, it would be with you
With a reluctant hope that I would be, for you, too.
What does it mean to be one and for all?
And if nothing matters, shine.
Letters for words
Words for heart
That's how it is
To be
And to be everything more...
Mar 2014 · 264
Untitled
hematoniss Mar 2014
i still love you
even though you
treat me as if
i mean nothing
to you.

you hurt me
a lot of times
but i am willing
to stay because
i don't want to
lose you and
i still love you.

i just hope
that you will
treat me better
sigh.
a poem about a girl who still loves a guy who treated her like **** x
Mar 2014 · 1.5k
islam
hematoniss Mar 2014
Islam is tolerance
and patience
Islam teaches us
regarding obedience
Islam told us to be
thanksful of what we have
We donate money
and clothes
to the needy so that
they would be save
Although people
call us terrorist
for no apparent reasom
we do not
fight back because
we are a peaceful citizen
we do not wish to fight
or cause any problem because
Islam is peace.
proud to be a muslim x
Mar 2014 · 625
but im perfectly me
hematoniss Mar 2014
My body isn't perfect.
I don't walk with confidence.
I get into fights with my parents and friends.
Some nights I'd rather be by myself then
out partying.
I cry over the smallest things sometimes.
There are days that I get through with
forced smiles and fake laughs.
Sometimes I try to convince myself that
things are okaywhen they're not.
I'm not ugly but I'm not beautiful.
I don't look as good in real life as I do in
pictures.
There are some nights that I cry myself to
sleep.
I constantly think I'm not good enough.
I'm imperfect but I'm perfectly me.
Mar 2014 · 894
depressed
hematoniss Mar 2014
you left me
with words,
that i cannot utter.
the heavy feelings,
in my throut  drags and
brings my heart down
to shatter,
as tears start to  create;
i condemned myself
with sadness and hate.
thou this poem
not rhyme,
it's hard
when heartbreaks
are taking me to die.
and i promise,
to bring myself together
so I'll be strong and happy
next time.
Mar 2014 · 388
nightdream
hematoniss Mar 2014
Everything seems so impossible,
I always feel so invisible,
I kept on staring at the empty atmosphere,
Endlessly wishing for you to be here.

Why do I keep on thinking about scenarios
that will never happen in real life?
Why do I keep on imagining things
if they would only cause an emotional strife?

Should I continue calling this a daydream
or should I start calling this "nightdream"?
This is indeed a mixture of a daydream and nightdream
and an emotion that got lost in the midair.

— The End —