nisdja kunto: Poems

477 · Apr 2014

not a home

nisdja kunto Apr 2014

this house is not a home
it is not more than a tomb

filled with broken trust
which was left in a rush

memories made by scars
and hearts blackened, as tar

she pleaded me to come
but i did not succumb

for it is better to ignore
rather than having a heartsore

390 · Mar 2014

i am

nisdja kunto Mar 2014

i am

i am sangfroid to their eyes
well of course, that is a lie
and my lover would shout ‘oh my’
every time he sees me cry
because a little piece of me always die

i am beyond repair
i tried to call them out in despair
but they’d rather dissapear into thin air
because after all, who are they to care?

i am not strong
i have been like that, prolong
because i wish i have a place where i belong

i am afraid and i am perplexed
because i have so many thoughts unsaid

348 · Dec 2015

my sin is thicker

nisdja kunto Dec 2015

my sin is thicker

you do taste like blood in my mouth
because whatever essence it is
i took away from you
is nothing less than it

and the air you bring along
is thick
it suffocates me
because i have never felt so much
in so little

you push me to the corner
to my furthest breaking point
and you smash me
into tiny, broken pieces

and you mend me -- caress my cheeks and told me that you’re sorry
and i mend myself -- setting every piece back together
because i forgive you

though i can’t forgive me
– my sin is thicker than
the blood in my mouth

— The End —