Carve it into my forearm as if my arm is a piece of clay easily molded. Brand myself with the word that holds all of my insecurities. Let my skin burn and cry as my soul has for falling shy.
Will I ever be...?
Have I ever been...?
Am I good...?
I want to be...
ENOUGH

"Remember when..."
My heart sinks as he reminisces with his Lovely Past. I watch as he laughs and looks upon her with soft missing eyes. Twirling and giggling as he drunkenly dances with his Lovely Past. Skin brushes aimlessly as the cheeks blush. I watch as I envy this "hindsight beauty".
Gaze upon ME!
YOUR Shining Future!
More laughing and caressing, reminiscing and drinking; the brightness shifts.
Where have I gone, the once Shining Future?
I've been renamed;  the cards have been re dealt.

I am the Plain Old Past, looking upon his Glorious Present.

Pick up the receiver, but there's no dial tone.
Scream into the speaker; prayers spitting from your lips that someone will hear you.
Scavenge for a piece of string and two hollow cans.
Test it out with your mouth forced into one and your ear desperately pressed to the other.
. . . _ _ _ . . .
Learn every language, study forms of communication, cry and yell until you can't breathe.
Are you mute?
Why can't the people around you hear your pleas?

Wack my nose with a rolled up newspaper because I started sniffing around in places you didn't want me.
Scratch behind my ears and tell me how good I am when I obey you.
Sit.
Lay.
Roll over.
Speak.
Entice me with treats and your excited tone of voice. I want to please.
Quickly tuck my tail between my legs and whimper for forgiveness after the harsh, "no" has been demanded.
My every move and sound must appease you or I know I will be sleeping outside instead of at the foot of your warm bed.
Good dog.
I'm just your *****.

I don't know who you are when you're intoxicated.
Wait, is that correct?
Or is it the other way around?
I don't recognize you when you're sober.

The skin of his shoes matched the serpent inside his soul. I was mesmerized because those shoes were electric blue and he whistled like my grandfather. Intrigue and sentimentality seduced me.  I knew of his venom and yet I still wanted to taste his lips. His coy words and refined manners made my hair stand on end; a perfect gentleman. He was the viscous master I couldn't help but adore. The trace of his touch singed my skin leaving his mark behind. I didn't need shackles to make me stay; the desire kept calling.

I love you.
No, scratch that
I want to love you.
**** that
I need you.
Lies
I need you to want me.
Still not right
I want you to want me.
Cliche
I want you to need me.

Please don't remember me.
I want to be that lost thought that haunts you;
I'll dance on your tongue without mercy
Drunken morning breath that is the only recollection of the night before;
The undistinguisable sour taste
Let me be the hum of a song that you can't quite come up with the lyrics to
I am the story you never cared to finish

Rocket-ship footie pajamas and stars from the galaxy on his bed
Running 'round the yard with a fishbowl on his head
He'd stutter the names of the planets and stars
with no desire other than to walk on Mars.
The boy created his own ship:
cardboard box, crayons, and a paperclip
3
2
1
BLAST OFF
The roar of the rocket drowned out his nemesis' scoffs
Days, months, and even years past
His big chance was here at last
He looked upon Earth with shock and awe
A bluish green dot was all he saw
Distant lights and strange color specs
No sign of alien lifeforms to detect
Everlasting darkness engulfed him
His life-long dream is actually quite grim
With the stale taste of toothpaste food
His heart sank with the lonely journey he had pursued
He longed for his loving mother and his dog
He'd had enough of the Milky Way's fog
He pined for the place he had aspired to leave
That blue-green dot forever he'll cleave
With a homesick feeling he reached for the throttle
Unfortunately the fuel was at the end of the bottle
With tears in his eyes and hopelessness in his chest
He decided to try a deadly quest
With the last of the fuel he blasted his jets
It was his last possible effort and he had no regrets
With a million to one odds;
He had to contribute his success to one of the Gods
He hit the atmosphere and exploded in flames
Busted the cardboard and ruined all of his games
The boy rushed back to reality
Relieved he didn't reach his fatality
Exhausted and satisfied
His adventure had only just been outside
Looked upon his fishbowl that now had a big crack
The little boy decided his journey warranted a snack.

With a rotting heart and aching lungs I plea to God
I've been fighting for so long, my toes are sore
My ribs are protruding against my paper walls
And the only marks on my milky skin are sun spots
Blood shot eyes stinging to stay open
Begging to flood
But they have no reason

Bass beating in my ears
Mute the world
See the angry mouths spit
Drum matching the pump of my heart
Grit my teeth.
Hold my breath.
Close my eyes.
Blasting lyrics sing my hatred
Increase the volume.
Melt away reality
Sink into the rhythm
Disappear.

Sitting in the stairwell
The howling wind is calling
Inquiring for change
Starting as a whisper
evolving into pleas
Dancing through my twisted hair
as if trying to pull me back
It sirens me to leave this place
Warning of entanglement and snares
But I wait for keys to unlock the door
but not to welcome me home

Stop.
Let the wind take me,
Bend me and break me.
Twist my skin,
Leave burns.
Stretch my limbs,
Draw my dark red blood.
Cut out my tongue
And everything else that fails me.
Pinch my lungs,
Let me gasp.
Slice my throat,
Just make it stop.

Dark as the night
The charcoal smeared
Bolding my eyes
It holds all mystery
In it's long wicked claws
Hidden in murky waters
Deep beneath humanity
Sworn in ebony blood
Stained upon fingertips
Inky residue of betrayal

Entrancing foreign melodies flowing through my head. My phantom-like extremities are the first to feel the daze. It spreads throughout my body; I'm not quite here, but I'm not yet dead. An intangible warmth festers in my chest reassuring my soon to be everlasting serenity.

There she goes
Auburn hair darkened by rain
A stranger to the streets
A kindred soul to the city
No destination
No end is near
Sky filled with gloom
Yet no bitterness in sight
There she goes
Lost amidst her wandering
She discovered home

Never ending high speed chase.
Right after left.
My legs try as they may, but Fear keeps gaining.

With her sharp wine colored finger tip pressed venomously to her rouged lips
her eyes threaten me to obey
A satisfied smirk slightly tugs at the corner of her mouth
Red is the color of seduction.

Be my lullaby.
Your voice is a comforting melody.
Your touch composes brilliant lyrics.
Soothe my deepest fears.