her smile is a lightbulb
a vacuum inhaling darkness
her laugh is a pair of warm hands
on the loneliness
she touches not your body
but your soul

there have been days i walked on the clouds
every syllable falling from my lips
a joyous prayer, hope from my toes to my fingertips.
there have been days when the darkness inside of me threatened to
manifest itself
with demons whispering their twisted logic
as sick as
the manifest destiny.
there have been days i picked at the threads binding my soul to
yours
wishing for a scissor to cut straight through them.
there have been days that my only solace was a book
a world
a dream of my creation.
there have been days that until exhausted
my mind wouldn't couldn't stop
running.
there have been days where your hands are all i want to hold
but i'm left with my broken
angry
heart weighing down my palms.
there have been days i wish you understood
the pain the rejection the loneliness.
there have been days of prayer
of contemplation
of watching the fire in warm darkness
your tears falling into my eyes
microscopic dots on this ocean of sorrow we float on.
there have been days that the land was sea and the sea was land
where drowning made sense
and up was down.
there have been days when i wished for eternity
for nothing
and then
both.

si te me preguntes hoy
no sé que si puedo decir la verdad
no sé que si tengo el poder
es posible que todavía te quiero

tenemos oportunidad en estos años
tenemos suerte cuando tocamos las estrellas
no entendemos lo que puedan hacer
a nuestros vidas pequeñas

si te me preguntes hoy
quieres ver la luna
yo sé que tengo el poder de decir
ya la ví.
en tus ojos, no más

i don't like you and i never have
your constant attacks
the way that you make me feel fat
and frustrated
and clumsy.
and i don't understand why we call each other
the best of friends because
you're always prepared,
goggles on oxygen tank pumping
to jump down my throat for the smallest something.
you make us argue
all i try to do is share with you
you make me feel weak when i need to feel
empowered and supported
and i wish i wasn't friends with you.
what if i never knew you
but then an acronym would go to waste
and leave our girls with a sour taste.
sometimes i do hate you
that's a lie that's mostly true.

it's on nights like these
that i wish for your
sticky sweaty skin
against mine.

it's on nights like these
that i remember the feeling of your laughter
my head on your chest, your body
against mine.

it's on nights like these
that i want your smile directed
at no one but me, your heart
against mine.

it's on nights like these
that i miss the battles of verbiage
our cute little fights, your wit
against mine.

it's on nights like these
that i wonder why we thought we didn't work
as a couple because your mind still isn't
against mine.

it's on nights like these
that i'm taken back to our first kiss
shut your eyes, lips tentatively
against mine.

it's on nights like these
that i can't sleep
that my bed feels too big
my head feels too small
and i miss you.

I want to remember everything.
I want to remember the look in your eyes and the nervous way
you bit your lip on that Thursday.
And how we walked hand in hand to class.
I want to remember the way we'd walk home late
stop at my corner
and watch the world pass by.
I want to remember the way that when I shut my eyes
I always saw yours.
Gold and green and mysterious and holding my heart.
I want to remember the way you smiled that nervous smile of yours
the first time we kissed.
I want to remember bicycling by your side
nineteen days in a row to our summer classes.
I want to remember the feel of your chin
resting on the very top of my
head.
I want to remember the way that we thought we knew the world
and each other
and our song.
I want to remember the way that our friends accepted us
and forgave us for being distant.
I want to remember the way that our hands
fit perfectly
together.
I want to remember the moment we decided that
for us
best friends was better.
I want to remember you.

my tears drag me to the sea
rising waves of sorrow
tides in my eyes
not a tsunami but an
inundation of loss
cry me an ocean

when someone dies
and they have no one to miss them
when the choose to go
or when the world chooses for them
and they have no one to mourn them
it's our job
that's why
some days you feel the despair
the waves of sadness
from the ocean of humanity
far away disturbances of life.
so next time you feel
that urge to tug at your hair
complain on your tumblr
ignore your friends.
the next time you glimpse
the cursed life of the chronically depressed
the forever sad,
be at peace
for there is a soul, somewhere
now at rest.
and you are in mourning for them.

It is a rainbow of color
overlapping
It is a strand of your soul
twisted
It is dark with the water
muddy
It was part of who you were
friends
It is now on its own
discarded
It has been replaced with something
new
It has been upstaged by something:
hope.
overlapping twisted muddy friends discarded new hope

bottling fame
standing behind the paragon of the light
hate in his eyes
brewing glory
standing behind the epitome of evil
hate in his heart
putting a stopper in death
memories from his mind
into a flask of
her
making.

The reservoir of all possibilities of Existence,
We ***** altars and springs, and consecrate certain pools.
Water, equated to the unconscious by those who have waded into the
depths of the psyche.
It scribes a line between sacred and profane, life and death.
Deep and wide as the River Jordan of scripture,
Wondrous as the Spring at Lourdes,
Cathartic as tears,
Water flows as blessings.