how a body can
contain so much
hurt &
not burst
or drip
or drown

I’ll open the door before you knock
barefoot
heart lit
shaking
I’ll kiss your mouth before you speak
not to quiet you
but to show you
what language was always
reaching for

Woke up at
5:50
opened the window and it
started raining
like the sky saw me
started crying
and went:
girl,
we're gonna grow you
some flowers

I wish you would call
even just to
say
nothing at all

Mary Oliver,
what do I do
now
that I’ve let the soft animal
of my body love
what it loves?

I’d rather walk on my knees
for a hundred miles
through the desert

How do you move on
knowing you have found
the love of your life

the answer is
there is no moving
but
towards her

even now

even whilst standing still

even whilst
apparently
not moving
at all

can’t I just have this life with you?

I miss you
and it feels like filling your lungs
all the way
as if to blow up a balloon
but there’s no balloon