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Today, I choose to feel life.

To stand in the rays of sunlight,
And evaporate in its strength.

To step on the dew covered grass,
And be grasped by the soil beneath my weight.

To gaze at each creature roaming amongst me,
And be blinded by their exhilarant existence.

To fill my lungs until they can contain no more,
And exhale with hopes of fueling other life.

To close my eyes,
extend my arms to the heights of the sky,
And absorb the magnitude of the universe.

My feet may be stuck in an unwanted place,
My mind living in the clouds,
My surroundings moving in too fast a pace,
But today,
No matter the perplexity,
The earth and I share no boundaries.

*We are one.

I am one.
I am but a skeleton,
A misprinted society element.**
I lived to the hum of my own melody,
A disapproved version of achieving ecstasy.
Those around me didn't like that very much,
Made me feel crazy, distant, and such.
Then, one day, I came to find,
I was one of few with such an open mind.
Pressured with conformity, I remained organic,
Such a rebellion filled them with panic.
So here I lie, a pile of bones
They ripped me to shreds, no trace with their ghost.
No one realized, for they were confined,
Stressing to stay structured, to keep their design.
But in the near future, they all will see,
The one they cold-heartedly killed is with whom they now agree.
My body is here, my heart has gone
My mind is stable, but can't move on.
The wrong emotion arrives late,
A smile hides a painful hate.
So high up, yet so far under
When it rains it pours; my soundtrack is thunder.

A memory is lost much too quickly,
But a lie takes its place just as swiftly.
Attempting to gain love through false affection,
I leave in a state of empty disconnection.
Guilt buried inside waits for my vulnerability
To crack my broken soul and devour it wickedly.
Knot in my stomach, black hole as a heart,
My mind only searches for a way out.
Out of my mind, out of this dream,
Out of this life that's way worse than it seems.

My body is nothing but an empty shell,
Every day is a tedious visit to hell.
My hands shake, my body pulls tight,
I've acquired such weakness, I can't put up a fight.

You're the only thing that keeps me alive,
Bailing out the water in which I have dived.
Drop by drop, I am desperate and drowning,
As I lose all hope, my death you keep doubting.

You tell me everything will be okay,
I refuse to believe a single word that you say.
You tell me I am beautiful, I simply ignore you,
I know I am worthless and I don't deserve you.
One of the first poems I ever wrote.
I'm surrounded, but you're the only one here
You're just a ghost, why does your voice sound so clear?
I stare at the edge, trying to disappear
You say to not stress, to not shed a tear
But the pain inside overtakes my fear,
My heart has cracked from your aimless spear.

I was born to have the constant pain inside,
Born to fall asleep every night with a cry.
I was born so everything I touch will die,
Born to be a pawn in societies lies.

The darkness around me is closing in,
The line between control and panic wears thin.
Trying to find something to have faith in,
As the devil walks next to me, asking where I've been.
A sigh from the hallows, we hear a last call,
Before the stars drift down as the heavens fall.
Yet the heat remains beneath the pavement,
Wanting to melt the pain of those who had created it.
A mind is distraught, and there in its canopy
Lies this surreal thought, a drawn up fantasy.
He kisses me until my lips fall limber,
Each flake suddenly burning, as if it timber.
I draw a breath, and finally meet life
Enlightened, I climb from my strife.

A silent exhale excretes this delusion,
Consumed, I now rest in a frozen seclusion
The rain, it pours a sorrow tune,
The clouds hold shelter to the moon
To where am I supposed to look?
My star, the sky has solemnly took
Lit no more, is the flame we held
His sight remained, yet mine rebelled
Drifting by was a familiar wind,
Without a choice, the breeze flew in
Eyes set focus upon a glare,
Ignoring tremors, I allowed the stare
A whisper begged, who could this be?
Deceiving voices cried, could this be me?
An empty life turned painfully numb,
In my own world, I lived, it turned me dumb
Entranced by my star, a love was sprung
Blissfully so, such a love came undone
By two distant souls, that love could be no more
Louder now, the sorrow tune shall pour
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