The perfect first kiss
we were nervous
         and I felt beautiful
and you had this look in your eyes
I had never seen in anyone
                                          else's.
You felt so warm, close to me
           And I felt beautiful

It was years of holding your hands
the air grew chilled
       around us.

The sky was a painting
               worth more than
a hundred diamond rings

And our hands were touching
            did you touch my face first?
Or did I touch your face?
            
we were both so nervous
drums beating, our breathing
was
soft and warm
                           The night wrapped
                              around us

You knew
                  everything about me
                                                 at that
    
                                                          moment

I could hit you
Because How can we
                        Make love
if I don't know You

You *******

                 You stranger

I'm supposed to be happy with

                 you


But you just make me

want to
               hit my skull against
the air conditioner

                    until I pass out

from loss of blood fluids


and you are so oblivious
                               to this.

I should write,
                 I keep writing about
Men
                  In my life
and they tear me apart

I want to write about
my ****
                    and my feet

and my knuckles
                                because those

          are the things that matter;;

                                                                 today.
I should write.
                    I can't write
about anything that doesn't involve body
parts or some sort of
        soul connection

and, like gonorrhea becomes
resistant to antibiotics
                                        over time


you, are
slowly


becoming resistant to
                   my *******.