She gave everything to a boy that she thought would be there for her in the end. A boy that meant everything to her, to receive not an ounce of love or cherish in return. It started out 4 years ago, it was easy then. Maybe it's because love was just a word and a kiss was a bigger deal. There were no complications because there was nothing he had done to scare her away. She had no scars. She was a fresh burden with an open heart. She would take any opportunity that were to flash by. She was an open book that had no fears. But all it takes is one mistake. One mistake to change the perfect story, that perfect ending would so quickly have a plot twist that would change her fate. One hour of wrong decisions and you can't imagine the dispicibale emptiness and the over powering amount of emotions that can take over and change you. One mistake by a stupid boy. A boy that didn't think, didn't know, didn't realize the amount of hurt he'd put her through. One mistake, and he had opened a realm of bad thoughts and emotional break downs. As simple as a no show and he had made that one mistake. The kind you can't take back, and that an apology is not enough to forgive, that's as if he apoligizes. And if he doesn't then that's the moment your faced with nothing but the truth. The truth is that you're better then the mistake he made. She's now a buried burden with a scar so big that she's too scared to try again, to fight again, to love again. And the worst part is, he still doesn't realize the mistake he made.

She hides from the shadows as if they will capture her, what she doesn't know is they're behind her. They follow at a steady pace all they want is a glimpse of her face. Not because the beauty that lies on the outside but the strength that lies within. She gets a chill that becomes more direct by the step, she penetrates backwards but only to reveal the shadows are becoming more distinct and the distance is getting shorter between. As she closes her eyes she feels the crisp air on her neck, as the chills spread, she reached down to grasp the bottle in her purse as if a bottle of pills would justify the life she was too afraid to live. She looked swiftly behind her to witness nothing but the mellow wind and the cringed damp streets under vintage pasted lamps. As her knees collapsed she had nothing left to figure out because the fact that her trembled life had caused her nothing but fear and sometimes that's too scary for us all to even admit or even for us to be worth living, after all they were just shadows.

She's been through more than just the sharp blade of a razor that has froze her skin by cutting through it, as the red crimson evil blood stainley drops as it hits the ground she still doesn't realize she's worth it. After the heartbreaks and blood stains she doesn't understand the property of being loved. It just wasn't enough. She was loved by many but not enough to save her innocence because she was hurt by a man that she thought loved her, but instead he was the reason she was covered in lines that were cut so deep they made her glisten in agony. All she wanted was to be loved, but not by anyone. She just wanted to be loved by him.

Pain won't go away;
It will forever stay this way

Until the night he holds you close

You realized it's just an act,
there you have the well know facts

Loving him was a waste of your night,
He wasn't willing to hold you tight

I see the way he looks at her, it's simplistic but the way his smile twists is enough to tell a story. The story you can read on the curves of his lips is yet untold but if you just looked at him long enough you'd see every slim slit of glass fall into what was a broken mirror, the story of a fixation on how she changed him. Not the kind of change that makes people go wild in a way that is undefined. But his broken smile was turned into the perfect grin, she did that just by loving him.

Sad is the only emotion I can actually feel. It's unlike being happy nor excited. It's a lot different. It makes me feel like I have power in a way that I can't describe. I can show the way it makes me feel but is hard to explain. It's more than just emotion. It's become some of our personalities. Some of us have just grown apart of it. Sometimes when there is nothing to feel, I automatically just feel sad. Not because I want to but because it makes me feel human. To just let my emotions accumulate into a swarm of hurt. Being able to let it out with a simple tear. It's the worlds largest weight off of my shoulder. It may not last very long but it feels good. It actually makes me feel alive. It's my heart breaking into a million pieces waiting to get sown back together, until that opportunity never passes by. When your stuck with a broken heart and all you have left is to just feel. To just feel, stressed and alone. Sometimes being alone is what feels the best. Sometimes we need to rely on our independence to save us. As if we learned how to save ourselves from hard situations so instead we just be sad.

Sometimes we are farther from what we've wanted our whole lives and it seems unreal. Distance is more than a number. You can feel the space between. It's hollowing and unbearable but we all deal with it because we have to, but must we? Distance is also a powerful thing. It's not the word that's powerful but the meaning that is strongly there that defines it. Distance has become a fear of most. Because the way it makes us feel. It leaves us in agony and pain because of the leverage between us. It's splits us into two halves. Completely isolated from what we've always wanted. Distance breaks us in a way that I can't define.

Love is one of those things where you assume you know the feeling, but when you actually feel it; it completely catches you off gaurd. It's stronger than people describe it. Half the time the people that describe it have never really been in love. Love is one of those words that are so extremely difficult to define. Love is just a word but the feeling and emotion you put behind it is what really defines it. It's up to you on how you handle what you feel and do when you're in love. Some people say it makes you go wild, those people are wrong. Unless they mean wild for the man or women you so deeply feel this way about.. Because then they are right. Love may make you do anything or everything for that one person, not because you have to but just because you can. Although it may be love, we are humans and we make mistakes. Some are more forgiving than others and sometimes we have more of a reason to forgive. But when their isn't an apology or an effort made by the partner who made the mistake that's when you know, you know that your paths may have to turn down different roads. Sometimes it's for the better and they may even pull through and meet at the end. But sometimes we realize that being caught in love with someone who never made an effort was a waste of your time because there is someone out there right now who is dying to love you right.