I'm more than just a little girl with a daddy complex.
I am someone who has been hurt, abandoned and betrayed,
I'm a little girl who has been brave.
And I still know how to behave.

Not an alcoholic, not a smoker.
Still a ******, never touched dope or
Anything harder.
No fishnets on these legs, crossed at the knees.
Nothing tragic about me, just a hard, young shell.

You can't compete with me and the lessons I've learned,
the girl scout badges I've earned.
Daddy's gone, so toughen up,
things are set to get rough.

We're all soft skin and folded limbs,
Our sour breath mingled in.
Young and not quite in love,
but I'll lie here with you until I fall.

As we work on this puzzle piece,
I wonder where it will click into place.
This fairytale may not end so sweet,
but I know you won't admit defeat.

Your blue eyes are telling me something,
something we silently agreed not to say.
I hope mine are not leading you astray.

We're all dramatic goodbyes and tearful reunions.
It's like something from a movie.
My heart has been broken by the miles between us,
my mind and body abused.

I wish I wasn't the way I am.
I wish I could turn things the right way up.

I could write best sellers
Just about you
But instead I'll just say
Thank you for the love I felt
Among the grass, under the sun, you kept
Running your fingers through my hair
And I couldn't believe it
When I could see your beautiful soul staring back at me

If I could go back to that Sunday
With the clear blue sky
And your head right next to mine
Everyone else just seems to fade away
And you can't say that it didn't mean a thing to you
*** is *** but love is gentle
And your fingers caress slowly
In my stupid head you love me
My hearts on the line, on my sleeve
My dignity is something I wonder if I can keep

You didn't have to hold me like you did.
There was nothing ****** about it.
But I know if I was anyone else
They'd be thinking the same thing.
And you cover your tracks
You take it all back
But I know what it really meant
I know how you really felt.
It's a sunny day
And I can feel my heart breaking
Thinking about how you smiled at me
Thinking about that hand in mine
Fingers intertwined
There's love in the air; you said it yourself
I felt a click, I hope you did too
Otherwise all these thoughts are moot.

I like looking at the stars,
and thinking your name.
I like when it's 11:11,
and we're playing our game.
I like when I catch your scent in the breeze,
the musky-cigarette smell that puts me at ease.

I don't like, when I don't know who you're with,
and that girl constantly liking your Facebook pic.
I don't like, when you're disappointed,
or when you're annoyed.
I don't like to miss you.

But until the sun stops shining yellow,
and the moon stops shining white,
I'll stay true,
and hop on that flight.

The daffodils peaked early,
they line your resting place.
There is a sea of faces,
some blank, some bleak.
Many I do not see.
You are scattered among the crowd.
Your eyes, your nose, your lips.
Your mother is drowned.

I've never believed in Heaven,
but on this day I believe
that you have to find peace
and solace
in your self-induced sleep.

I'm flying; I'm beautiful.
I'm soaring; but I am not free.
Nor do I wish to be.

I'm falling; I'm miserable.
I'm slipping down, down, down.
I am not free.
Nor do I wish to be.

It's time you told me, and stopped this agony.
It's time you put your arms around me, and soothed my soul.
Please don't set me free.

I can't keep the same disposition
for more than two weeks.
A sweet caress filled with anger,
passion streaming from my fingertips.
Hope is stand-alone;
to love is to fall.
The fisherman's net will not suffice,
I'm cold on this winter's night
with no light to life.

One day, my darling,
One day we will be the King and Queen
of the universe.
We will show them mercy
and be kind to those who forsook us.

One day, my darling,
One day, money will cease
to control us.
We will indulge, splurge and spoil
the labours of our love.

One day, my darling,
One day, the rats will run
ahead of us.
We will sit, and wonder
about how we ever kept up.

One day, my darling,
One day, the world will keep spinning
without us.
We will greet our next adventure
hands held, hearts locked.

One day, my darling.
One day, our bones will be the dust
fertilising the future.
We will be as forgotten
as the druids and the bards.

My darling girl
with a smile so bright.

I would've handed you the bricks
to build up your walls
So it hurts less when you fall.

I would've held your hand
and made it okay
So we could see that bright smile again someday.

I would've kept you safe.
But I have not lived
and this mundanity would've killed you
Faster than your noose.

I want your days to be filled with manic yellows,
florescent pinks and wild, wet blues.
I want you to live and tell me all about it.
Be a storyteller, I want to enjoy you.
Be an entertainer, I want to love you.
But you're calm, serene.
You balance out my madness.
Two of me and we explode,
two of you and we fall off the edge of the earth.

We sleep side by side,
like it's our God given right.
We are nature.
We are sunlight.

A child approaches me in my dreams,
she walks through the warzone,
her red hair blowing in the wind,
she looks at me with your eyes.

I've never wanted a traditional life,
but I can think of nothing better,
than sitting on a porch with you
hands and fingers intertwined.
Watching the sun go down
Happy with life.

How can I sleep,
Knowing you're out there?
Walking the streets
Wanting to be anywhere
Anywhere but home
I know it's hell
And that's why I write these tortured poems
But I can deal cos I don't dwell
On the past
What's done is done
and it's gone
We're coming last
Fading fast
But don't be ashamed
I once complained
But life screws you over again
And you deal with the pain
And now you don't feel a thing
Now you can't see the brink.

Poets soul and voice
Of which I had no choice
Please Please Please
Don't test me?

I've been lost and never found
I wasn't saved when I drowned
Still underneath the surface,
Trying to make it worth it
Lock me away I'm your shame
Are you afraid of what they'll say?
The bad stuff always stays
The highs always fade
You were young and stupid
But I've got the scars to prove it
Paying my dues, but what did I do?

I spend everyday in heartache
Waiting for a chance to talk to you.
You've chiselled away this girl of stone,
so don't leave me exposed to the cold.
Wrap yourself around me, want me, need me.
I'll go wherever you are,
my willingness scares me.
I can't keep looking forward,
Just looking at now.
We've made everything ******* ourselves,
but the truth is that I love you.
Songs are sweeter, more relevant.
Days without you drag on.
I'd do anything to have you beside me.
Because you are my one and only.

They call it a rough patch,
but I don't know how to deal.
I knew there had to be some catch,
a sandwich crust, an orange peel.

Your life is moving forward,
I'm hanging back in the trees.
I had hoped you wouldn't get bored,
Of Skype calls and endless amounts of cheese.

I still act like there's nothing wrong,
No one has to know.
I'm still listening to our favourite song,
Trying to deal with this blow.

I had dreamed of nights wrapped up in you.
I had dreamed of  white dresses and little feet.
Maybe you had different plans, maybe I scared you.
But I'm not ready to admit defeat.

I was once a desired thing,
Long hair, wide eyes and tiny shoulders.
I was once a wilder thing,
No staying in, even when the air was colder.

See me now,
Smothered in on and under you.
See me now,
Burying regret, resentment and the truth.

Remember me when,
I had oysters, pearls and diamonds galore.
Remember me when,
The whole ocean knocked on my door.

Keep an eye on me now,
A bittersweet ***** with only one way to go.
Keep an eye on me now,
Back to the Woman I know.

Your eyes gave me everything.
They gave me love, they gave me hope, they gave me fear.
Your eyes gave me everything.
But they couldn't keep us near.

Your eyes are as blue,
As the sea that parts and surrounds our worlds.
They're as blue,
As the sky that stretches over us both.

Your eyes are so bright,
They were my light in the night.
So bright,
I can barely look at you.

That night your eyes were so wet,
I forgot all the good they had been.
My eyes were so wet,
I forgot to look, forgot I had it all to see.

It's only been blue eyes -
Since I was with you
But it's never been love,
Not since I left you.

In the lack of day
We almost-lay, in a fuzzy haze.
In the lack of day
We swear and we sway
Not giving anything away.

In the dark of day
My bruises heal and my ego deflates.
In the dark of day
We dodge and I relay
All the things it's too late to say.

In the night we are tigers;
Pacing, pouncing, preying,
Bodies slinking over each other.

In the day we are foxes;
Sly, secretive, ****** me,
Playing games like young pups.

As always, I am a mouse;
Tiny, timid, terrified,
Communicating in shrieks.

We are silent as can be,
In the dark
Moving quickly
The night is long
But this is empty.

In the morning,
When you hold me
Our heads are pounding
Our hearts are hammering.

When you're gone,
And my bed is empty
I am restless
I am wanting.

Are you busy? Or are you done with me?
Ghosts haunt my past, nothing new.
Same old story.

I want you to know that I could have adored you.
My love knows no bounds,
It stretches, envelops and encompasses
Every word I am unable to say,
Every kiss I give anyway.

Do you tire of my stories?
Of my attempts to let you in?
Am I not right for you?
Do I not fit within?

I want you to know that I have love to give.
But if that's not for you,
My boundless love will move on,
Just don't text me at 4am.