The ache in my chest is enough, tonight,
To keep me buried under layers of insecurities
And trapped in a sea so dark and deep I'd swear
I wasn't in this world.
And I look to the blade near my sink
And think, there has to be a better way.
A better way to rid myself of the poisonous words
That still run through my veins;
Your words. Words that introduced me
To a euphoria so great that
Looking back, now, it only makes sense
That I would crash as hard as I did.
I fell, this I know, for your strength
And charm, and then I let myself
Fall into despair when you decided to let me
Fall into a pattern of lonely nights and tear-stained sheets
That turned into drunken calls and blank stares.
And now, here I am, curled up in
A place I wish did not exist, thinking of
Things that should not exist and I wonder if you
Have ever felt this monster inside of your chest
Like the one that is trying to claw its way
Deeper into mine. Cause if you had,
Then you'd know: *there is no better way.