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Nicole Bataclan Jul 2013
I  know who I am
What makes me tick
When something is wrong,
Or when  I am roughly overreacting.
When I enter a state of panic
It makes me sick to my stomach
I do not recognize myself
Or  I remember the one staring at me
All too well
Defensive and uncertain
I am mean and swollen
Emotions overrun me
So here I am
Running on empty.
At times I am not in control
Without warning
Or good reason
What is sure
I am on the brink
Of falling into a loophole
And I  just have  to sense
When it happens
When I am this woman
Wearing stilettos on sand;
If you are that man
Not psyched but strong enough
To handle the times
When I am losing the upper hand.
Nicole Bataclan Jul 2013
Every four months
Of my life
I am reminded
That  you are not
In my life
A change in the wind
A blinding sky
Coffee that tastes bad
Here I am about to cry
And that every day
I still think of you that way
It burns inside
And I am cold with pride
Because
Only one
Sets my heart
On ice and fire
I walk alone
And like Amy said,
Tears will dry on their own.
Nicole Bataclan Jul 2013
I worry
About
You
Just
A little --
Just
A little
And enough
To know
Now
I am
Really
Starting
To care
About
You.
Nicole Bataclan Jul 2013
Pressing my fingernail
Against your skin
Running my hand
From there, back to your chin
I have not said a word, but
You grasp how my mind works.
You blink that way and I know
You are talking to me
Passing on a message
From the heart of a window.
We are having
A great conversation
Without even having
To exchange a single word.
Everything that must be said
Our feelings that ought to be shared
Here we are, doing so,
Just you and I, talking in silence
Without the sound of a word;
Between the fluster of the wind
And hearts that are about to discover.
Nicole Bataclan Jul 2013
It is the bridge
Between
Now and forever
The bridge of fear
And are we crossing over?
It is the bridge between
Possibility and doubt
Will we stay stuck
Or are we willing to try?
It is the bridge between
Who we are and
What we could be
Will the distance
Abide
Or will it be us
Eventually?
Are we ready
To venture
Cross this bridge
To our future?
Hold me tight
Let us take a chance
And bridge the gap
I am inclined
If you are
To cross the bridge
That leads to
You and I.
Nicole Bataclan Jun 2013
You say one thing
But mean another
I feign a nod
Because I know
What you aspire

You keep by the rules
I use all the right tools
We play it carefully
Though we already
Share this affinity

We do not have
To pretend
By now
We are on the same
Wavelength

We say one thing
But we mean another
Such a farce
Because we both know
We are untruthful

However
The beauty of
This deceit
Is that we are
Aware
Of the truth
Behind it

It is a lie
That we need not
Demystify
The truth about
You and I
Being coy is that
You are crazy
About me
And the other way
Around

We say one thing
But our eyes intend
Another

And the heavenly feeling

If
We are both liars;
The two of us
Telling the same fib
To one another
Then quite frankly,
At the core of the
Conversation
Were we not telling
The truth
All along?
Nicole Bataclan Jun 2013
If
If it had never happened
Would I have eventually
Ended up here?
A safe haven
Daydream feelings
Knowing exactly who I am
And where I am going

Encircled by the people
I cannot go on a day
Without thinking about;
Living in a city
I adorn and that I
Will not ever leave behind

Weary of explaining myself
I still work on embracing myself
The journey I have set in
Losing it, finding it,
Exploring still, my inkling

Never losing, always winning

If it never happened
My writing would be different
But as of now
Every tingling in my body says
Me, myself and I are happy
Maybe things happen, unluckily
Yet I learned to make the things
I want
Happen eventually.
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