After the end
When the only image left
Is the idea of your scent;
And of what it reeks
Is your face in distress
When you claimed you were weak.
While details fade away
The agony is permanent
If only it were the other way
Flashbacks would not burden.

After the end,
When the only new beginning
Is a heart that is broken;
And what to look forward to
Is the vision of a next life
When it will not **** me to love you.
While there are plenty of fish in the sea
The belief I found him daunts me
If I were to have one last plea
Flashbacks, for my sake, stop haunting me.

This is the place
Where hearts reunite
And others are torn apart.
Here searching
For a face in the mass
While others wave adieu
Through the thick window glass.
Finally when eyes meet
Their smile is so bright
But others will turn the corner
Clutching to one last sight.
Welcoming you with flowers
I will miss you, I murmur --
A place of contrast
Feelings digress
While others grow steadfast.
In those tears of joy
Or heart-rending turmoil,
Whether you are coming in
Or it is me that is flying
Hugs feel the same
Because honesty
They both exclaim.
Hellos and Goodbyes
Our life is never on standby
It will always sting
When someone you love is leaving.
And like the glow of fireflies,
It is always a piece of paradise
To see you arriving.

You and I got unfinished business
And until we settle this
I reckon I cannot care less.

I will be carrying on with my chores
But every thought of you
Pulls my boat back to the shore.

A hushed rage takes over my body
Since my scenarios
Are only the fruit of my fantasies.

It is hard to read between silences
All the answers I get
Are explanations made up in my head.

I am pinning for a slap from reality
A pain so intolerable
For  the numbness to empty out swiftly.

I would rather have my heart explode
My mind be in the clear
Than a riddle that I cannot decode.

You are aware that it will free me
Come set my iced heart on fire
That is the least you owe me.

What is obvious betwen the lines
Is this uncanny vibe
Between you and I.

You ought to remember,
Mid-small talk,
We used to be so fond of each other.

Today we talk like strangers,
As if our life had not capsized
Since those days are over.

Candidly asking how we are;
So we hyperbolize the lie
And I am curious:
How can standing so close feel so far?

I wish to intervene,
Say it is alright to want the air cleared
To unmask what is in between.

But I am not about to reveal
That my heart still palpitates
And missing you has been my horrific ordeal.

After our brief encounter,
With hearts left unspoken,
I will smile, *Take care, and
                                      Enjoy the sunny weather!

I am not the kind to hold a grudge
Especially if I know on some level
It is a bullet I am supposed to dodge

You were probably joking
So it is weird for me to insist
That your words were upsetting

Maybe I am reading too much into this
But were you not just pointing out
That bits and pieces of me are a tease

I would understand if others bantered
But coming from you, my friend
On this subject, your attitude tortured

Not very fond of sarcasm
And making me an object of ridicule
Specially from you, is so seldom

Pardon me if I snapped
For the damage that it caused me
Is something I cannot drop

It stings because it is you
For behind every joke
There's a tad bit truth

Now I muse on what is worse
That I think you meant it
Or you do not realize it hurts

Had the dream
One lifetime ago
Of becoming someone
I know I'll never become
Today.
It was the battle of my life
Regardless of my sighs
Hanging to a thread
Holding on to all I ever wanted.
Life happens
And so do
Accidents
Though God's plans are bigger
Mine felt similar.
I struggled so much
But it was never enough
And I bid farewell
A long time ago
To a dream
That I couldn't let go.
It aches me
Even if I made my peace
At times, I still find myself
Exchanging blows with
My former self.
Though thrilled to be where
I am now
When time warps
I wonder how it could have been
If my story would be
Rewritten.
Does anyone ever find out
Why things happen
For a reason?
God's plans are bigger
But mine felt similar
So I try to find
Each time I am thrown back
The solace in my heart
Live both lives with no regrets
Because I know I gave it my best.