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Nicole Feb 2012
I saw it standing there
all alone on the side of the road
it had the number 5 on it
and nothing else

The black paint was chipped
faded from the sun’s beating
its wooden post strangled by weeds
a memorial no one sees

Years had passed, no letters writ
a flag permanently dislodged
dented seams, its door askew
rust giving way to time…

it had the number 5 on it
and nothing else

at all
Nicole Feb 2012
It was
me and you beside the lake
******. and you said
that star, the nearest one, I mean,
is as deaf as a poet
but I didn’t understand.

I was preoccupied
searching the vastness of
space. and I told you that
the moon is blind
to the ocean
but you couldn’t
comprehend.

We were lost
drowning in the darkness
alone. and we watched
the deaf star
and the blind moon
find their way
together.
Nicole Dec 2011
I drank the cyanide tonight
I was tired of it all.
I drank the whole thing
And to the floor I did fall.

I remember now
As I lay here in a coma
Why I took the first sip.
It's your fault.
I was going down
And you sat by,
Watched me slip.

As I lay here dying
I feel the anger swell
Why didn't you try to save me?
You know what I feel

But even as I die
I somehow find it in me to forgive
I'm crying inside
I change my mind!
I want to live!

Guess it's too late now.
Seems everyone has given up on me
Why did I take that drink?
Why was death my dream?

I'll never know,
It's too late now.
I'm taking my
Last faint breath

I'm sorry mom
I'm sorry dad
And bro, I'm so sorry
I'm leavin' you

Dear family
Dear friends
And everyone else who cared
I'm sorry I had to go

I did what I always did best
But don't worry
It's all over
I made my final mistake.

I drank the cyanide tonight
I was tired of it all.
I drank the whole thing
And to the floor I did fall.
Nicole Dec 2011
I can still see
The look on your face
I can hear
The tone of your voice.
I remember the smile on my lips
Returned by yours.
I remember holding your hand
And never wanting to drop it.
I remember blowing each other kisses
And the butterflies it gave me
I still remember your smell
As we hugged each other
I can still feel your arms around me
The warmth of our bodies.
I can hear the beat of my heart keeping time with yours
And I can feel myself keeping step with you.
I can remember wanting to talk to you
But being to afraid to call.
I remember loving you
And I also remember the fall.
But you picked me back up
Made everything okay,
Told me that there is hope for a someday.
I remember feeling in love
But I don't remember when it happened.
Nicole Dec 2011
Wonder when you'll miss me.
Will it be as I pack my things
To take somewhere far away?
Wonder when you'll miss me.
Will it be as I quietly shut
The backdoor for the last time?
Wonder when you'll miss me.
Will it be as I walk downtown
To catch a ride to nowhere?
Wonder when you'll miss me.
Will it be as I step into as stranger's car
And tell them to take me somewhere far away?
Wonder when you'll miss me.
Will it be as I reach my destination
Under the cover of night?
Wonder when you'll miss me.
Will it be as you wake up
And find my bed empty?
Wonder when you'll miss me.
Will it be when you realize
That I'm gone
I wonder when you'll miss me....
I really wonder when.
Nicole Dec 2011
The day you walked into my life you saved me
Never thought I'd feel that way for anyone (oh....no)
You opened up my eyes
Made me let down my guard
I made a big mistake the day I gave you my heart

Chorus:
Because of you my heart is broken
Because of you I am afraid to get hurt (to get hurt)
Because of you my heart is broken
Because of you I am afraid to love again(love again)

You made me realize there's more to life than breathing
Taught me to live each day as if it were made for me
Showed me how to laugh
Showed me how to cry
Showed me how to be angry
And last of all, you showed me pain

Chorus

I fell in love (I fell in love)
You fell in love (you fell in love)
We fell in love (We fell in love)

You hurt me (You hurt me)
I hurt you (I hurt you)
We hurt each other (We hurt each other)

And now it's over

Chorus

Now it's over...

Chorus
Nicole Dec 2011
She says she's fine
Draws a smile from a line
The secret thoughts inside
All the feelings she hides
Everything she wishes she could tell
Every reason that she fell

She smiles her life way
Through each and every day
Wear the mask again
Like when everything began
Laugh like there is no pain
Live to see what she can gain

Though she wears a happy face
Her eyes are in a cold distant place
She tries with all of her heart
But she can't just be happy from the start
It's going to take time
She needs to let herself unwind.

She's trying to let it all out
Teras on her face, for help she shouts
A cry heard by seemingly no one
But she son't give up; She's not done
She'll try to fight the battle
Hope to make the world rattle

To tell her story she strives
Trying hard to stay alive
But this is not what they see
That's not who she's allowed to be
Well, she's sorry,
But her real life's a different story.

"Look inside and who will see
What it's really like to be me"
She cries out loud
But she's silent in the crowd
When will they understand
This fallen girl needs a helping hand

The life you see day-to-day
Is not the life she lives in every way
That is a fake face, laugh, smile
She's broken all the while
Sorry, but you don't know the details gory
Her real life is a different story.
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