Days become better
Days become bitter
Last month I was happy
This month I am unkind.
The fog steals me away.

When the days are good
I wonder to myself
"When will it start slipping?
I know too well it is coming soon."

Then morning comes
And I feel a slight fog
insidiously creeping
darkening my mind.

Suddenly the sun doesn't shine as bright.
Suffocating air catches in my throat
And my heart is an awful weight in my chest.
on the verge of exploding,
Thumping harder.
Pumping bad blood.
Hot and sick.

All I have to do is open my eyes to see
that things are not what they should be,
And an overwhelming feeling of hopelessness
blankets me in my own disappointments.

Soon enough the days will become brighter.
It will be easier to live in my skin,
And the fog will ebb out.
But I know it hasn't disappeared.
The fog is just waiting.
It will be back.

Our moments together were
An inconvenience for both,
Necessity for neither,
Desired only by me.

I was a stupid, little girl.

I need not hold back tears
My ducts for you dried out
When my
Faith, love, and trust
Ebbed away with
Disappointing and lackluster years

Dropped down a bottomless pit

Your ability to ignore
My existence remains
Ever admirable
While my sentiments remain
Everlastingly indifferent

I'm a cold-natured soul

When you're an old man
You will think back on the days
You wasted our time,
And turned a blind eye

You'll wonder why your only begotten child left your life

If you are lucky enough to reach an age of old
A numbness so comfortable
Unspeakably whole
On your deathbed
Peacefully waiting
The departure of your soul
Notice,
I won't be there
I've turned a blind eye.

*Oh, father, you've taught me too well