I wish you'd stop playing these games
I gave up a long time ago, you left me pondering for months to come
Hoping there was a possibility but you threw that to the ground
It's been a while
I really did think you were great, I put in so much
It hurt me to see you throw it all away before my eyes
I'm not blaming you
You need to understand that
For months I sat there
In the dark, your memory vivid in my mind
The smile you gave after my lips left yours
I won't forget
But now it's time to move on

I see your smile and for a moment it's like I know every thing is going to be alright
I love everything about you, all your mannerisms
When I tell you that you're beautiful and you smile, you look down
I tell you how cute your smile is and you cover it with your hand and let out a quiet giggle
In response telling me to stop
I can just look at her, just look into her eyes
My thoughts just go blank
and I hate thinking
I love how you try to look good for me
and I love that you don't have to try
Because I've seen you at your so-called worst
and there's nothing remotely bad about it
My day revolves around waiting to talk to you
It's like I'm obsessed
I am, I guess
I feel creepy but I don't care anymore honestly
I don't care because I want happiness
and she gives me it

What hurts me the most, is knowing you're hurt
and the fact that you won't tell me what's wrong
You blame yourself, you say over and over again
"It's my fault, it's all my fault"
It's not, but you can't seem to grasp that
I don't want you being hurt
I wish I could just make you happy and never see a single frown come from you again
But I sit here, knowing you're crying, knowing you're blaming yourself for something thats not your fault and it hurts me,
You tell me I shouldn't care about you, but the fact of the matter is
I care about you more than I care about myself
I can't see you hurt anymore, I just want to help you
I just want to make you happy
So please, let me.

I know you all too well
I know that look in your eyes when there's something bothering you
Your voices changes, I can tell easily
I ask "What's the matter, darling"
You reply "Nothing" followed by a forced smile
Because you know that if you're sad I get sad
You want me to be happy
I love you for that
But I know there's something bothering you
It bothers me that you won't tell me
I just want to make you feel okay
I just want to help

I get the feeling that it's all an act
Perhaps too good to be true
Pondering the possibility that you actually want to talk to me
That what you say it's true
Maybe it is, but my mind is telling me otherwise
I guess it's just my paranoia
But I don't want you to leave me
At the same time I don't want you to lie
I don't know what I want anymore
I just know I want you.

I sit down
Beads of water dripping down my body, leaving trails like miniature rivers
I let the stream of water hit my head
Alongside my ears, loud
An attempt to silence my thoughts
But I sit here, another poor attempt at trying to get rid of something I'll never be able to get rid of
and I'm scared
I'm scared one day I'm going to do something
I'm scared one day I'm going to do something and I won't be able to stop myself
My thoughts control me, I'm like a maze rat
My thoughts are the predator and I'm the prey
They just seem to keep getting hungrier

There's no such thing as forever, perhaps only in the fairy tales
But when I look into your eyes I want to make those fairy tales a reality
Because every day, every second is just me waiting
Me waiting to hear your voice,
Nothing makes me more happy than you
You are my prozac, you are my xanax
You are my everything, and I never want to let you go