Nicholle Justine

Nicholle Justine May 2013

I don't remember
okay!
Stop asking me.
I can't remember!
So back off.
I think we did
not.
Or maybe we
did.

My memories are
constantly
buffering.
The waiting.
It kills me.
And then
little
chunks
finally
load.

****.
I remember.

But now,
I don't want to.

Nicholle Justine May 2013

Cigarettes

i hate the taste on my tongue
cigarettes burn so wrong
but after a long day
it's all i need to feel
sane.

Nicholle Justine May 2013

A Little Token of My Faith

Upon my confirmation
I received my Jesus box.
A little token of my faith.
The box titled with
gift God bestowed on me.
Wisdom
Understanding
Knowledge
Counsel
Fortitude
Piety
Fear of the Lord
In that box I placed my rosary.
a little token of my faith.
As high school came
the rosary went.
The box became overflowing
with money I was saving
then pictures of friends.
It still contained a
a token of my faith.
My faith had just been changing.
At one time the
rosary
gained it's rightful
place back in the box.
That did not last for long.
The box was empty for what seemed like
forever.
A little token of my faith.

Just recently I filled back up with
a cigar
a lighter
the number of a connection
a letter from a new friend
a ripped up picture of an old
a new faith or lack there of

Nicholle Justine May 2013

They Weren't Overreacting

I used to think
that they
were overreacting.
A break up can't
hurt like that.
******.
It's all
true.
I reach for the
ice cream.
I must've gained
ten pounds since
I told you
I can't treat you
the way you
want to be treated.
I cannot sleep
at night
Because I
wonder if
you hurt
as much as me.
I cannot listen to
music.
Because every melody
is a memory
every lyric is
our story.

*******.

We spent too
much time together.
I told you everything.
I would spend a day
with you.
And when I got home
we'd talk on the phone.
Til the sun came up.
You were the only
one
who
knew
me.

This sinking pit
in my abdomen.
The word
****
constantly on the
tip of my tongue.
The feeling of
hating you
loving you
missing you
wanting you
forgiving you
loathing you.

I cannot
help but think.
I wasted time on you...

Nicholle Justine May 2013

Why Must Death Know My Name

Sometimes
I wish
that death
did not know
my name.
Because
it calls out
for me
each night
with taunts
and sneers
it beckons
me closer.
its eyes
round
like pills
entice me.
It rapes
my mind
bringing forth
unwanted
memories
of loneliness
and pain
and suffering.
Maybe
I will change
my name.
dear
witness
protection
program,
I am
being
chased.
I cannot.
eat.
sleep.
dream.
function.
please
relocate me
where death
is no more.

Nicholle Justine Apr 2013

Kinda Sorta

The way you laugh, I laugh too
Like a contagious little flu
Whenever I call you ***.
You light up like the sun
Then you say that little phrase
And it puts me in a daze
'Cuz all I can say is

Chorus:
I kinda, sorta, maybe, a lot like you
Kinda, sorta, maybe, a lot it's true
I can't say I love you
Like-like at the most
Is as far as I can go

I have been hurt a few times
But baby, it's not a crime
If I do not say it back
Could you give me some slack
'Cuz trust can be difficult
So please do not take all fault
Just take my

Chorus:
I kinda, sorta, maybe, a lot like you
Kinda, sorta, maybe, a lot it's true
I can't say I love you
Like-like at the most
Is as far as I can go

I love your texts and kisses
Who knows, someday I might be your missus
So can we take things slow
And see how it goes
with:

I kinda, sorta, maybe, a lot like you
Kinda, sorta---
Ah, **** it!
I love you.

Nicholle Justine Apr 2013

The Empty Room

A ghost of memories
And shadows of used-to-bes
Dance around
without making a sound.
A nightmare echoes
No one hears, no one knows.
The pain resonates
from morning until late
The door stays shut
Trying to stop us, but
I check out of fear.
Yep, you're still not here.