You taught me how to love,
Unconditional and true.
There is nothing in this world
That I wouldn't do for you

I want to shield you,
From the hurt and pain
That you will one day come to know.
A mama bear doing whatever I can,
To protect my cub and soften life's cold hearted blows

My pride and joy
Forever my baby boy.
Growing so fast
Filling my mind, heart and soul
With imagery, laughter and stories that will always last.

As the stars illuminate father sky at the end of each day
I open your door to watch u sleep,
As I kneel to pray.
Watch over my little one
He knows not what awaits him
Away from the safety of my arms.
Give him strength and draw him close to u creator
Protect him from harm.

Behind this smile lies confusion and pain.
Weary and tired,
I'm not sure how much more I can sustain.
Heart heavy
Knees weak
the future I pursue begins to seem bleak.
Traveling through time
wondering aimless and cold.
Missing all the beauty on the journey
for my judgement is so distorted
beauty is not something my heart is ready to behold.
Words cannot explain the hurt in my eyes,
so look within, let our souls intertwine.
I will take you on a ride
it's a sight to behold
the visions you see
may be to much, the hand you were dealt, you may want to fold.
the pain you will feel
will become so intense
you may not be able to cope,
screaming and pleading for the ride to be over and to exit as you may
But you have forgotten you are walking in my life
things cannot go your way
the ride is not yet over, for it has only just begun.
I know what you're thinking
Such desperate measure, what more can you do?
The sound of the clock echos
as deaths slowly creeping
drip drop bloods quickly seeping.
all of a sudden darkness fills my eyes
never again will my soul arise.
Unfortunately this is all to simple to put to an end.
Giving up and quitting are words
and actions that my mind does not comprehend.
So I will continue to coast
walking along as a lost soul
Venting the pain is the only way to control.
control and maintain the war within,
that continues to try to destroy my spirit's light.
I will not give up without a fight.
With tears in my eyes
or at least that's how it feels.
having faith that in time I will heal.
I'm screaming from within, but you will never know
my heart is guarded by a wall that's taken me a lifetime to build and grow.
it's guarded by wolves half filled with love and the other with hate.
only someone with equal balance holds the key to my chambers gate.

You love my smile,
you dig my style.
A lady of grace,
a midst this desolate place.
In this troubled world,
filled with struggle and strife,
I hold my head high,
in this tough game of life.
I lingered in your shadow,
for far too long.
It cuts you to the core,
that Creator gave me strength to press on.
My dreams will be fulfilled,
no matter what you say.
I'll pray for you,
to be awakened...on judgement day.
Jealous of my success,
you tried to bring me to my knees.
Bringing havoc to everything you touch,
leaving behind treacherous debris.
I made it through the rubble,
and stumbled through to safer ground.
So strike me with your words,
for I know they are nothing but lies.
I can see the hurt,
as I look into your eyes.
Not all is lost...I want you to know.
You taught me strength,
and I will continue to grow.
I am a strong Native woman
PROUD where I stand.
I will never bow down to you...or your demands.

The moonlight was shining serenely over still water
Reflecting like a mirror,
Glistening golden stars hover above like flickering Fireflies.

Crickets singing a melody to one another
Tucked away in the uncut grass.
The branches on the old oak tree gently nestle their leaves.

sitting on wooden planks crookedly aligned to perfection
Gazing out in awe, listening to the orchestra
Saturating Mother Earth as she sleeps.

A moment of purity and innocence
Drowns out tomorrows chaotic company.

© 2013 Rachel Fairbanks

A jackhammer smashing into concrete
Flooding my ears
My brain pulsates against bone
A volcano is on the verge of eruption inside my chest.

Snooze…exhaling fire
Inhaling crisp air crystallizing my lungs
Fog engulfs the place that used to be my bedroom
Awake or dreaming?

Warmth and comfort are now distant pictures
Shattered from the tremor inside my head
Smooth angelic touch of finger tips
Slipping away into a riddle

© 2013 Rachel Fairbanks

Rocks of all shapes and sizes
Spread out along a river bank
Piled on top of one another

No sense of boundaries.
Pressed firmly against the soil
A touch of green adds some color to the shadows of grey.

Life forms in the most unexpected places.

© 2013 Rachel Fairbanks

Impenetrable like callused hands
My smooth garment is my shield
My chambers gate is sealed with cement
Insides tossing and turning
A sudden tremor has cracked my shell
A speck of light squeezes through
Cold...broken in two
All that I held within pours
Out like raging tides
Into a fiery pit
Sizzling from treacherous heat
My flesh melts
Changing who I once was into what you want me to be
Which is
........................ Sunny side up.

© 2013 Rachel Fairbanks