Your eyes glazed over,
Glued to the television screen.
While I lay behind you crying,
I am unseen.

There is only silence,
All I feel is pain.
And you dare not speak my name.

We are distant,
Never touching.
Curled up into a ball,
I become nothing.

Clicks and clatters are the only sounds you make.
Let me sleep forever,
Never to wake.

I wish to run free and wild,
away from this bed,
whose blankets overtake me,
into a sea of broken memories.
Away from the place where all of my fears
come to life.
Swallowing me into a wave of madness,
that I can no longer see.
I want to run free and wild,
I want to be happy.

In the darkness
I raised my hand.
In return
you reached back.
Like,
one of those toy claw machines,
only to be disappointed
in the end.

Don’t text me at 2am saying that you miss me,

I can hear the rustling of your bed
as you snuggle in to get cozy
without me.

Don’t tell me I’m beautiful,

I know that glimmer in your eyes too well
when her hair is brimming with life
so enchantingly against the wind.

Don’t hold my hand,

I can feel
the cold emptiness
flooding the space between our palms.

Don’t call me at 4am telling me that you love me,

I’m waiting
for the warmth of the sunrise
to tell me
that you don’t.