The following is drug induced poetry.
But I wouldn’t consider this a relapse,
Just a collection of words I should’ve used to fight back.

I can’t blame you for being the way you are.
You surrounded yourself with Pride & Arrogance…they’re the two at fault for this.

Unfortunately love, you’re a product of your environment.
Didn’t your mother ever tell you?
You are who you hang out with…

Arrogance & Pride are a lethal mix, and I think your ego may have overpassed the limit. How are you comfortable with feeding your ego all these drugs, that shelter your heart from the concept of love?
Or did your ego overdose because your love went away?
To be fair, you knew she couldn’t stay.

From what I heard she went back home to build a future for you two, but the thing is, she thought you were doing that for her too.

Instead you turned to pride and arrogance and learned to dance like them, then before you knew it, you leaped and took a chance with them.
A chance that ruined what you had with her, and you pushed her away before you could sit and really have a talk with her.

By the way you handle your situations,
I can tell you’ve had one too many doors shut in your face, so you find that climbing through windows is the easy way in.
But haven’t you heard that what comes easy leaves just as quick?

You should’ve just taken a risk and waited for her at the door, open wide with the chains undone
But it’s too late, she’s no longer yours to play with.
Your habits rubbed off on her & she chose to run…

I’m here against my own will,
So here goes nothing.
Hi. My name’s Naty & I’m a lovaholic.
I can’t tell you how many years it’s been,
I’ve lost count to be honest.
However here’s an interesting bit of information that might help your understanding.
My addiction was implanted in me since the day I was conceived, so being that I grew up around addicts, I’m not surprised that I am one myself.
But unlike the others, my vice wasn’t one that could be placed back on the shelf.
Mine comes from the heart, it gives me energy, yet it drains me, some nights it drives me crazy.
I fall asleep choked up in anxiety, wake up feeling the same, but who is really at fault?
Is it my DNA or my surroundings?
Because I grew up in a very affectionate environment,
Something I find myself apologizing for often.
At times I felt like wearing my heart on my sleeve was a blessing, but I’ve shook hands with men who happened to secretly take pieces of it with them.

I’ve put myself through rehab more times than I care to remember, relapsing has become a second nature.

Forgive me if my words sound slurred, it’s just that I’m high right now
I’ve been high for nine months, although the journey’s been great, I’m ready to get clean and start over.
I want to remember what my life was like when I was sober.

I came to you for help, do you think I can be saved, since I’m so far along?
I just need one chance, one chance to prove to myself that I’m still strong.