People tell me I must forget, that I must learn to move on.
They say that time heals all wounds, that I’ll forget someday.

I agree that time heals all wounds. Passing time certainly does numb and eventually cure almost all pain.
But to forget… Maybe that works for some. Maybe they forget. Or maybe they just lie about it and say that they have forgotten when really, in truth, they are like me. I can’t forget. Nor do I really want to.

Why would I want to forget all of the happy moments? Why would I wish to lose the incredible feelings of love and life and happiness that fill my memory with so much joy? Sure, they are accompanied by some pain, but to me the pain is well worth it. You are worth the pain.

You, who made these memories with me.
You, who eventually left my side.
You, whom I still hold in my heart.

I can’t forget you, any of you, and I don’t want to.
You all made me who I am in some way, contributed to the person I am becoming. Every decision I make, every step I take, every triumph along the way is lightly colored with your memory.

Thank you for that.
For making me a better person.
For teaching me lessons that needed to be learned.

The love we shared was beautiful, for each of you, different. No two loves, no two relationships even remotely the same.
I cling to the happy memories of us together. I hope you do too. They give me strength when I am sad because I know that if I felt that way once, I can feel that way again.

Perhaps time heals all wounds.
But to forget? No.
I cannot forget you. I cannot forget that I loved you.

And even still.
Even now.
Some part of me still does.

You are there in the depths of my heart like a well I can draw from.
The oldest of you deeper, more buried, but ever stronger for having been with me the longest.
Sometimes I’ll dip my hand into the well just to see what memories I can pull out, loving to remember you. I love to remember us, our love and worlds that we shared together.

Thank you for having been a part of my life. For that, I am forever grateful.
Thank you for making me who I am today.
Thank you for staying with me, in my well of memories.

Just know, that if I ever loved you,
Whether it was for a day,
A month,
A year,
A decade,
I still love you,
And I probably always will.

She sings with me when riding in the car, windows down, cruising who knows where.
She'd go anywhere with me, near or far, the wind whipping through her hair.
Holding my hand, stroking my arm, she lets her laughter free.
It flows around, a river of sound, finding home inside of me.
Her fingers run all through my hair as I shift on through the gears.
Screaming her joy when I put petal to the floor, her adrenaline overtaking fear.
Burning rubber fills her nose as I carve through downtown corners.
She loves the smell of it in my clothes when the burning day is over.
Challenging drivers at every light, she talks all the **** for me.
I rev the engine to back her up, the redline throwing warnings.
"C'mon babe," she'll say to me, "this ***** wants to go."
Can't help but grin as I wait for the light, clutched and shifted to throw.
She taunts them through the open window as I tear down through the gears.
Her laughter mixes with the exhaust as she screams her victory cheers.
All I need is her love and laughter, all I want is her riding shotgun.
I want her hand on mine on the shift ****, that's how I know she's the one.

Clutch and bleed for the driving need,
The bitter, hounding sound.
Pushed harder and farther, to my knees,
Passing the world around.

Zeal and lust are both a must,
Happiness a choice.
Crying, dying, true disgust,
They seek to steal my voice.

Air or water, I cannot falter,
Without either I should fail.
To succeed I need to be my father,
Breathe the need, as was his trail.

I chose to pose questions free ,
How can I grow better?
Pain and fame is all I see,
Easing, ceasing never.

She shuts the door
Flips the switch
Calls my name
Tosses the covers
Hair in my face
Scent in my nose
Lips still on my tongue
Moving her hips beside me
Stirring the heart inside me
Eyes shutting reluctantly

Never a greater peace
Than when she falls asleep
Held tightly in my arms

I get jealous.
When I hear the words, I fear the words.
Hold it in, bury it deep, hide it far below.
Hope to God my secret keep, hiding in the shadow.
Can’t let it out, can’t let you know,
Never will I live it down.
It strings me along, to the ground, drowns me true and slow.
Asking why it bothers does nothing but perturb.
Better not to question, better not disturb,
Better to ignore the feelings, to lock them deep away.
I must ignore this mockery, must not break the seal,
Deep inside they must remain, can’t admit the way I feel.
I wish you’d stop saying the words, wish I didn’t listen.
If only it were so easy, if only, if only then.
I wish they weren’t such a sound, I wish that they were written.
Then I could simply burn them, light a fire, watch them rise.
Maybe then I could escape the words,
This jealousy I feel inside.

Nothing you can do or say,
Will ever make me walk away.
Read these words and know them true:
I will never abandon you.

I won't leave you in the night,
I'll come back after every fight.
I won't try to change your mind,
I'll let you be, undefined.

I will never ignore a call,
I'll grab your hand if you fall.
I won't leave you at the edge,
I'll be waiting, this I pledge.

I will listen but judge not,
I'll take in every thought.
I won't ever ask of you,
I'll just give, as I always do.

I won't lie and I will care,
Promise I will always be there.
I'll be patient and I'll be kind.
Someone like you is hard to find.

It's hard to put down in ink,
Spinning strands as I think.
I can't concentrate with you in mind,
And all the words I left behind.

Unable to focus on tasks at hand,
I struggle through with one demand.
I just want to see your face,
To hold your hand, ignore this space.

Two hundred miles keep us apart,
Yet you have a solid grip on my heart.
You need not worry these nights at home,
I will not stray. I'll sleep alone.

I want you with all my being,
In my dreams, it's you I'm seeing.
You, my angel of perfection,
You my one and only affection.

Be with me now, as we rest.
The rise and fall of my chest,
Grants us again each other's face,
Across this empty, distant space.