As I sit there in
the hospital chair,

I glance at her and
whisper to myself
“This is not fair.” 

I pray for her
but I know she’ll be taken away,
when she restfully lays.

I cry myself to sleep
because all I can think of is her..

I tell my close friends
but it seems like they don’t care,
I feel so alone because no one seems to understands.

Maybe the reason why she;


is hard to love is because she needs it the most

is self-willed is because she knows how reckless she can get

cuts is because she finds security and comfort from a blade than a friend

commited suicide is because she's tired of losing everyone she loves.

Maybe the reason why she did it, is because she wanted peace with her soul so she set herself free.

Each day I  lose her,
slowly and slowly,
                                Medicine after
                                medicine,
                                                         Stages 2 onto
                                                         Stage 3,
                                                            ­                    losing weight
                                                                ­                to seeing the bones,
                                                      ­    For hoping she'll
                                                          ­survive it,
                                  But knowing
                                  She wont.
                         .......

Dark red that pools my heart
like pins of thread from the start
plucked out one by one looking through
and wondering which hole to start.
You're present but you aren't,
I scream your name but you're no where to be found
pleading and pleading at least answer me please,
please?
...
Anna oh Anna
thank you
for the hardships,
the love,
the happiness,
and the sadness you
cause inside  
                                               my dark red pooling heart.