What I have done,
What I wish I didn't do and could erase,
Was telling someone in the first place.
I hate what this has become.
That poem that let almost everything out
Was my mistake in a typewriter document.

And the tears that have fallen since then are monuments
Of my pain and doubt.

I’ve always thought that the human mind is beautiful
The way we feel, so complex, unique
Emotions of passion, lust and desire
To be able to dance, dream
Laugh, cry
Smoke, ****.

And trust.

To be completely open and vulnerable around another human being
Who in less than ten words can completely crush your spirit.

When you think about it
It really is phenomenal.


But the problem with happiness is
Although to some it comes easy
To others, it’s a little more difficult.




the human mind is ugly
jealousy, anger
obsession, hate
heartbreak
how one can be so overwhelmed
and weighted down
with something as scary as their own emotions
all within the mind of their own
something we like to think we have control over
but in reality is so convoluted, dangerous
and at any second can just

snap.



it's funny
how one day you can feel so strong

yet the next -








Was I ever so wrong to think that
in the end
in the bigger picture
it was just me and you.

I am cynical
I am lost
I tie anchors to my feet
and complain when I drown
I am clingy, corrupt
I need so many people
yet I push them away
when they get too close
I am broken
I am scarred
I build my walls
and I tear them down
I'm lonely, tired, sad
I am a mess.
Make sense of me?

Breathe, my darling.
For it will all be okay.
Put a smile on that pretty face,
for you are one of the most
beautiful people i have ever seen,
inside and out.
Not everyday is going to feel like this.
Not everyone is going to make you cry.
Lift your chin up,
and remember how great you are.
I need you to be strong,
and know your worth.
For who will i go to if i don’t have you?
Remember that the sun rises everyday.
The darkness eventually diminishes,
Open your blinds and forget
about the terrible nights you've endured.
Take a walk bare footed in the grass,
and remember the little things in life that you love.
Life doesn't wait for anyone.
The earth keeps spinning around and around,
and time keeps passing.
Don’t keep wasting
drowning in your sorrow,
for you will wake up one day
with great regret.
Move forward, move on
No one ever said life was going to be easy.
And i can’t guarantee
that life will always be good to you,
because we both know it won’t.
But that’s no reason to give up hope
on happiness and love.
For I know you will learn to love again.

watching a movie in class
and having boys crowded around your desk playing with your hair
and acting like it annoys you
but it doesn’t

window shopping
with a friend
pointing out wishes
making inside jokes

going to Mcdonalds with your grandmother
eating fries like British delicacies
chatting

those days on the bus
listening to music
the sun and bus
yellow
zooming along the streets

lying awake at night
sleeping over
hands being held over the abyss between two beds
swapping secrets
like fisherman trading fish

drawing
and liking it
creating something

and

tasting
something sweet