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Nathalie Dec 2012
I’m taking you off your pedestal.

You aren’t some knight in shining armor,
You are so faraway from being a charmer.

You constantly make up petty little excuses,
Which leave imprints of dark black and blue bruises.

You keep asking me for your trust,
But that’s hard to do when it’s in another girl you ******.

I’ve forgiven you one too many times,
It’s sad to think that all I can remember are your countless crimes.

But for some reason or another,
I’m crazy about you,
Hoping I’ll push through,
Change your worldview,
I want my dew to no longer be blue,
So with that I must say adieu.
Nathalie Dec 2012
You’re a curse,
and a legend.
I want nothing to do with you,
instead you follow me everywhere.

You’re intoxicating,
in all the right ways.
You’re an obsession,
to my nightmares.

You’re miles away,
yet occupy every little thought,
disturbance,
breath,
step,
choice.
Intolerable pain,
that I somehow can’t get rid of.

Because that’s all I have left,
of you.

Just ideas of your existence,
thoughts of your comfort,
anything,
to fix my craving.
Nathalie Dec 2012
To you, I was always first.
Even though your past history told me otherwise,
I should have absorbed every little moment,
When I was your number one.

Today, I am your second.
Your third,
Perhaps not even a number, but a distant memory.

I wish I had savored those few days,
Like slowly savoring a melting piece of chocolate on a lifeless tongue.
One, two, three, taste bud absorbing the flavors of your rainbow.

I promise it would have been worthwhile.
I would have stayed with you till the end,
Washing away in your swallow.

To me, you’re still my first.
A number, a memory, a taste, a flavor, a rainbow.
You’re my second, my third, my fourth,
My all.

I cross my fingers, hoping, wishing, praying that one-day,
I’ll cross your mind,
I’ll flutter down softly on your tongue,
Your taste buds questioning,
The memories returning.

Maybe one day, I’ll fit perfectly in your equation of numbers.
Nathalie Dec 2012
I said that I would wait.
I put it down in words.
Even though the distance was slowly and painfully beginning to settle in,
I said I would wait.

I promised that regardless of what happened,
I’d wait,
Because somewhere, deep inside me, I knew we were worthy of it.

I returned,
Heavy bag in hand, tired eyes, heart full of hope,
But you weren’t waiting.

You stopped waiting.
You didn’t even have the courage to tell me about her.
After all our history, the years, the growing, the learning, the tears,
I thought you’d maybe wait.

But you didn’t.
You were gone before I could even touch you, smell you,
Hold you.

You didn’t wait.
And now, I sit here.  
I sit and wait,
I wait…
And wait…
But I’m not sure what I’m waiting for.

Because you were gone before I could even whisper “wait”.

— The End —