The truth.
This is where
I am at right now.
Trapped in
trailing time.
Walking the cold pressed dirt. (in preparation)
I keep trudging forward
with gain and loss.
Chunks of earth fuse
and break off.
Caught in the furious noise
of the everyday.

No reflection.
No reflection in your heathen eyes.
The trees are overcast. Swaying.
Dropping their browning waste.

If this ground should part,
if this body should fail,
if this steady hum
vibrates deep into the darkness-

He probed his cooled instrument
into the meat of my ear,
and the ENT specialist
gives it an "all clear"-

Yet these ears go on repeating,
those words caught draining,
out of your cigarette mouth-
lit deep in our darkening alley.

The scenery is intoxicating
and I drink it in to drunken bliss
and spiral away
from this physical capture
and am captive
only by what captivates me

You say it best when you're sleeping-
your fingers gently grazing
down my thigh to find a hand
that’s not your own-

I wish that it were so,
so easy to abide-
by the precautionary smirks
of simple lies.

it is temporary
the mirrored faces reflecting back into one-
it is as temporary as the sun.

it is temporary,
this burning body of youth.
it is temporary insanity
and temporary truth.
it is movable pieces
in the bottle of corked vermouth.
it is ungrateful youth
and all her fantasy
her ****** opportunity-
the days of endless sunshine
fogged with cascading rain,
full of superficial pain,
that only sets into the skin to rise up
much later.
blemished traitors
of your failing past.

it is temporary,
the primping of memories undone-
it is as temporary as the blazing gun.

it is temporary,
it is fleeting
and no matter how these products
keep us believing
they are nothing more
then distractions, they are deceiving.
as the sand is thrown in our glossy eyes
and stars that once opened in the night sky
just for us-
open no more.
we retire from the bridled gore
of youth and her tireless war
and forever more,
must sing the songs of fading youth.
must curse the uncouth,
the way the years
have wandered by
without any proper goodbye
and we, as strangers
in this looming unknown
we must come to know
as past our prime,
past our time,
and be spectators
into the theatre of vanity
we are now excluded from.
oh, how we wish we’d undone
the regrets and missteps-
but we are denied
to ever confide
the wisdom we’ve gained
since beauty and youth
have fled-
we are condemned
to be voiceless passengers
on our train ride to the end.

yet, this is temporary.
as temporary as you and i,
the ailing sky,
the aching stars,
the rolling hilltops,
tracing to the mouth of the river
and when we are at once delivered
to a final resting stop-
we pray, we hope
as tooth and nail dragged
we try to cope,
to be temporary no more-
temporary no more-
temporary no more-
temporary no more-

youth youth
fading hard and fast
in time ill be an image
in the tray you ash

hanging sideways
off the table with wine
downing these pills
to keep lovely eyes dry

running through the miles
of the creaking sky
foolishly wide
foolishly beside myself

come back to me
blow invisible kisses at the sea
lets get drunk on rotten wine
let emptiness feed our rotting minds

you were contemporary
beige skin on royal sheets
your shoulders, coat hangers as you walk
down avenues, through neon lights

your face
an apparition in the pavement
invisible photographs
in a mind growing frail and cold

My sense of responsibility
for you, is weak
And though the sun
may peak
Her bright and shiny head,
I am four steps from dead
with whiskey in throat
striking up a winter laden band.
One hand over my eye
and another open in the dark.

Through the city harbor
blind cat ropewalker
down to the skylit charmer
into wounded arms
and gaunt and weary couches
I am wilting away.
With your breath hot on me
sedating my needs
like I sedate and taint you-

But suffocate, suffocate
Disintegrate and fascinate
all my childish fantasies
of being pressed into the trees
pressed into the dirt,
Your hips slipped between
a little exposed thigh.
Pressed and suffocating-
under your weighted throb.