Not a smile every day person
Always trying to look on the brightside even if there isn't one
Turning my pain into words
A lot of hatred toward my biological family
Shy
Helpful with my family and friends
Angry at the world

I've never had to lookout for anyone else
but the one I do look out for is myself
When I wanted something
I had to get it
When I needed someone to talk to
I was there
And some might think I'm selfish
But I learned to look after myself

I stare deeply inside the fire
But if I touch it
It could be dire
It sizzles and sparks
But if I touch it
It can leave a mark
It can light up the night
With it's burning light
But if it dies out
We can't live without
We start to fear
That the end is near

Losing someone by death
Is not easier than
losing someone who never
even wanted you

I say this because if they
die at least you know
they loved you

This is why I try not
to love someone
For the fear of them
dying, of abandoning me
is too much for my
heart to take

You sit by the headstone
Of the lover you lost
Does his spirit still roam
Why was he taken from you and at what cost

You cry loud sobs of tears
Crying more loudly hoping he hears

You sense a presence
From beyond the grave
Praying that is you that he'll save

He's a ghost now you see
He's filled only with dread
A spirit to wander not free but dead

As  he reaches out to hug you
All around you see red

I can feel my heart ready to burst
I'm  not a morbid person on the outside
I can't show no remorse
And on the inside my soul is black
Like the sky without stars
Nothing twinkles for me
No candle lights my flame of hope
Is this a disease
Of everlasting dispaire
It makes me so mad
I want to pull out my hair
Will my suffering ever stop
Or will I grow depressed until the day that I drop

What is evil
Is it something that keeps us awake at night
Something that can give us quite a fright

Are you thinking that there's something near
Or are you just paranoid
Mistaking what you see and hear

Do you have a feeling that there's something under your bed
Maybe your fears are just in your head
Do you have a fear that you'll be dead

Evil is everywhere
Whether in your house or outside
But one things for certain
There's no where  you can hide

To afraid to cry
To afraid to show you the feelings that I hide
But not afraid to die
To afraid to love
To afraid to show you the scars on my heart
Why am I afraid
When did this start

I do not smile
I do not laugh
I live my life in denial
Cause you were so vile

You may think of me as a happy person
But you don't know me

I always try to get by
With a smile plastered on my face
This is not the case

I am a master of deception
I am an exception

You see what I want you to see
You hear what I want you to hear
You see my fear

Am I a hermit because I like to be alone
No need for companionship
I am on my own
Just me and my heart of stone

I know when I'm alone no one will hurt me
Because if you seen what I've seen
You too would wish you were free

Can you hear my heart beat
Is it an empty hole
Filled with nothing but dispair
Is it a pitiful place to keep my sorrow

Can you see my eyes cry like that of a rainstorm
Like a ship out on sea then they capsize and everyone dies

Can't you see that I bleed like you
I know I have my own feelings
I'm just trying to concore my own demons
Then I can express my feelings

So if I am just like you
Then why do you hate me like you do

Life has it's ups and downs
Most people embrace it wearing a frown
If only we could all just smile
The sun might shine warm and bright for a while
But the only thing I ever see is sorrow
It wont ever change by tommorow

Why am I so lonely
Am I my one and only

What did I do to deserve this
When all I want is companionship

I do not have a place
I could leave without a trace

Feeling like I could die
And I can not help but cry

Is this my fate
It's not one I want to create
But if I wait
It may be to late

my eyes
filled with loneliness
my hair
a blackish brown
my smile has turned
into a frown
my heart is
longing to stop
finally im ready to drop
these are my thoughts

When you hurt me
I didn't care whether I lived or died
I wish you could have seen the times that I cried
It's all because of you
All the times you yelled
F* what you think
This is hell
I feel like your punching bag
And I think you should die ***
All feel now is rage and pain
And it's left me feeling tired and drained
You don't try to cooperate
And I wonder if this is my d* fate
So sometimes I wish I couldn't hear
And that I could ignore you forever
And live the rest of my life without fear
You will never be missed
You made me so ******
Now not being able to hear you is my only wish

Oh how I wish we lived in a fairy tale story
where there is no evil
and no one will worry

No pollution
A place where love is the solution

Somewhere there is no guns and war
A place where we can get along

Without thinking about differences
Like color or race
Where no one will feel out of place

Because in my fairy tale book
There's always a happy end
Where you can find true love
And see the kindness in everyone

Each story would start with once upon a time
My world will be one without hate or crime

You say that I should be ashamed of myself
Well I am only ashamed of being born
I think how easier your life would have been
If we never met
You would have not felt regret of having me
don't you see how free you would be

Walking home I hear a sound
So I turn around
Nothing there
Must be my imagination
So I continue on my way
Behind me I see a figure
Lurking in the shadows
So I quicken my pace
He shows up in front of me
Fangs glinting in the moonlight
He bites me on the neck
And ignores my desperate pleas
Then he withdraws
And I fall on my knees

I'm coughing up blood
So I swallow
Im crying tears of sorrow
So I swallow
My face is bleeding
I think why do I feel so hollow
There's a knock at my door
So I swallow
Death has come for me
And with relief
I follow
And this angel of death
leads me to an abyss and pushes me in
And in the end I get swallowed

What is hate
Is it just like love
we think we know
but yet our feelings remain oblivious
Is hate just a stir of negative emotions
are love and hate so different
we cant live with just one you see
because in order for one to exist It has to have the other

They first thing I notice when I look outside in the shield of night
Is the sky

How gently it carries its children
The moon, clounds and stars up high.

Carefull not to disturb them from their lullaby

How lucky up there it must be
careless loved and free

Yet I sigh thinking no one sung me a sweet song

Oh how I wish that was me
And wish no one done me wrong

I run deeper into the forest
I stumble and fall
Terrified
As the wolf approaches closer
Then the sun begins to rise
He changes into a man as he sheds his disuse
Love at first sight
As we glance in each others eyes
Then we lie in the forest
Till he has to run off in the night

You've heard the saying that there are two sides to every story
well mine has not been told
why dose there have to be two sides to only stories
why not souls

On the outside I look like stone on the inside I feel like a puppet being controled
by the two halves of my soul

What are they you might ask
well one looks happy
but the other transforms it into woe

You see this half harbours it's dispair and transforms everything into terrible emotions
knowing that if I let go of my anger then you think all is forgiven
Well I say hell no
I will never let go

Like I said there are two sides to every story and soul
it brings me happiness that mine was finally exposed

Do you ever wonder what it would be like to fly
Not in an airplane
But with your wings spread wide
I have

It would be nice not to fear high places
So you can fly above people
and see the look on their faces

Id go near the water close enough to touch
Then id soar in the sky

Id visit all sorts of places not giving a care
If this is what heaven feels like
Then i am so glad im there

What is love
Does it make your heart ache
You think he doesn't feel the same way
It is more than you can take
Even if your just friends
Your heart hurts when you see him with somebody else
Then you think in your head I wish that was me
Your heart yearns for his smile, his laughter, his touch
Knowing inside, that the fear of not being together
is far to much

All you do is scream at me
This isn't no pleasant dream
Where you think that you fell
This isn't no dream
This is my living hell
I thought that you loved me
But you don't even care
This isn't no dream this is a nightmare
One I never can wake up from
And one that never gets done