Natalie Steffen

Natalie Steffen Feb 2011

Tears

The tears tickle down my face
tickle like my grandfather
and me shouting
Stop! Stop!
while smiling and laughing
and then, when he does as I asked,
I shout
Again! Again!
And down his fingers come,
tickling my sides and belly happily.

But these tears are not happy
Not smiling.
And not laughing.
Their tickling is not my grandfather.
Not a childhood memory,
But pain
New, current pain
that I've never felt before.
I wish it away, hoping for my Grandfather's fingers
but they never come
to take the pain away.

And it is then I realize.
I am not happy
Not smiling
Not laughing
And my grandfather may never come.

Creative Commons

Natalie Steffen Feb 2011

What Then?

I want people to know
Know how I feel
Read, and know.
What I really mean
In these words.

But I don't
I don't want them to know.
Because...
If they know,
And they don't understand...

What then?

Creative Commons

Natalie Steffen Feb 2011

Try

Im tired of trying,
trying so hard.
I try to please
I try to enjoy
I try to be happy
i try
and try
and try
I want to stop
stop trying
I want to relax
I want to live
live for myself
And not for anyone else.

Creative Commons

Natalie Steffen Feb 2011

That Girl

That girl…
She's alone
She's crying
She's in need of love
But she won't accept it.
She's been broken
one too many times.
She needs to be alone.
You can't help her.
How do I know?
Because…
She's me.

Creative Commons

Natalie Steffen Feb 2011

Hate Me

What's wrong with you?
I've given you every reason to hate me
I've cheated,
Stolen,
Hurt you.
Yet you still love me
You should run away.
You shouldn't be here.
PLEASE HATE ME.
I don't deserve you anymore.
I know what I did
Was bad enough to drive anyone away
But here you are.
Next to me,
Smiling happily
As if I'm all you ever wanted in the world.
You should hate me.
Because I act like I hate you.

Creative Commons

Natalie Steffen Feb 2011

Your Guy

I see you over there
With your friends, having fun
You look just… perfect.
I know that you don't see me.

I'm just another one of the guys
One of the people at school
That you walk by in the hallway
Not really seeing me.
I see you
You are there, in my eyes.
You're in my thoughts
I love you.

Today I'm gonna get up.
I'm gonna get in front of you.
I'm gonna say something.
I'll be noticed.

Today, I tried.
But you passed me off as a ******.
You didn't accept my love.
But I'm not giving up.
I'll talk to you again.
You'll see me tomorrow.
I'm gonna make you see me.

Right now,
I'm just another one of the guys
One of the people at school
That you walk by in the hallway
Not really seeing me.
I see you
You are there, in my eyes.
You're in my thoughts
I love you.

I bought you a present.
You just walked by me again.
You laughed at my effort.
Everyone says I should give up.
But I won't.
One more time, again.
Maybe in a few days.

This time I wrote you this poem.
You finally saw me.
You smiled.
Even though you never did before.
I know I have a chance now.

I'm just another one of the guys
One of the people at school
That you walk by in the hallway
Not really seeing me.
I see you
You are there, in my eyes.
You're in my thoughts
I love you.

Now I'm your guy.
That guy at school
That you kiss in the hallway
Seeing me, even with closed eyes
I still I see you
You are there, in my eyes.
You're in my thoughts
I love you.
And you love me.

Creative Commons

— The End —