I found a new bad habit in an
Airport announcement
"Now boarding London-Heathrow"
Thought, how much could it be? so
I pulled it up and-
Oh, that much.
I checked my bank account.
Our friends thought I was funny
When I said I'd take donations-
Who doesn't dream of running?
They didn't ask me why.
We joked around, I shook my can,
Laughed, until you stayed my hand-
All I need in London is
Directions to your bed.

Watching you grow up has been
Like watching the batteries die
In the last flashlight between us
And the blackout;
You're mad at me but I
Told you to change them two
Weeks ago.

You've been keeping terrible secrets
On folded pieces of paper
And leaving them around:

-You wish you'd lived in New York
  When those planes hit the towers.

-You've been trying for six months
  To make your boyfriend leave you.

-You hate writers, instinctively-

I turned this over and saw you had not
Made an exception for me.

'Q

I learned in a class once
That people are attracted to
Romantic partners who are
About as attractive
As they are,
And I thought of him
(I didn't linger long)
Then I thought of you.

And I think you're
Pretty handsome
And I think my hair
Looks good today.

And I think then it's
Not my fault,
Because both of us,
We're pretty okay.

And I want a chance
To see your
Pretty okay
Under London streetlights
As the fog rolls in,
Wet sidewalk slow.

But you told me there's no
Fog in London and
That florescent lights
Don't burn yellow.

You told me "look me up
When you come to London"'
You turn from me
In the streetlamp's glow.

'Q

The airport terminal was so full
In October it felt like Christmas.

Eight gates packed with people and
No seats left I couldn't stop smiling.

And the runway was lined with red
And blues and greens so that when
The plane took off I couldn't
Look away, I wanted those
Christmas lights
To be the last thing I'd see
If I died right then.

And I realized that if I died
Right then that I'd be okay with  it
For the first time, and I checked,
I asked myself, "Are you happy
Right now?" And I said "Yes I'm
So **** happy right now!"

And I was,
And it was true,
And I didn't believe in anything
Big or anything so it was a pretty
Big deal that I would be okay
To die right then,
And we leveled out and it
Was so dark outside and
I could see the Christmas lights on
For miles.

'Q

Spring settles in with a sigh:
Mild breath and soft sun,
Trees still bare, but hopeful.
I'm tracing the words of this song in my head,
Because what is a song of Spring
If not a song of my self?
Mild tongue and soft eyes
As greening grass whispers,
'It is time to be in love.'
Anxious heart bubbling like an unseen brook,
Ancient heart thawing like the dawning of the day.
Timed, I'm sure, like a butterfly jar,
But full of unrushed beauty all the same.
The early light has made the sky
Free of blue: and so am I.

Some nights the necklace you gave me feels cold,
Colder than it should given where it rests
Against my chest,
And I worry after you,
Extensively.

It's just:
I'm going to burn
your fur-lined boots
with you
still
in them.