I love you so much it breaks my heart,
Every word you say gives me a start,

I’m terrified,
To clarify; I’m scared,
But, let’s not go there.

We have a future, that much is clear,
I think I know where to steer,
But, why here?

I want to run away.
Someday.

With you.

I'd tell you the wishes I made months ago,
but I still want them to come true.
Cause I wished for many things,
and I especially wished for you.

And I believe you're right about living,
cause you always know what I'm thinking.
And I believe I was right about your ocean,
cause I can stand without sinking.

I am the sailor not so alone,
and one day I will sail.
And we will be not so alone,
because you will have worn a veil.

The woman had legs.
The room gasped when she entered.
The woman had hair.
Red curls past her shoulder.
Lips, eyes, and skin too.
The woman had assets.

But she was not mine, nor any others.

I can't stand the feeling that I'll never see you again.
I can't control the sadness that the memories bring to my lonely soul.
Because the things that we lived are unique like diamonds... and  they shine on the darkness of this empty room that's my life without you.
I miss you, can't you see?
And it's not that simple, there's a hole in my heart that no one can fill except for you.
The thing is that...
The day we said goodbye on the stairs of that building, the way you said my name for the last time, the way you looked at me when you watched me leave, like you were broken again, the things that you said and that last kiss, those things are always on my mind and now I feel that I can't love again, that I can't love anyone... just you.

These winter mornings make me miss you,
Your scent, your breath, how you always left me,
The pet names we called each other,
The small pieces of foreign languages we meant,

Your “Lo siento”s, your Elvish “I love you”s (‘Amin mela lle’),
The day of silence, I learned to sign my heart for you,
I learned so much through it all, my brain teemed,
But you only taught me how my pain was true.
    (And how to kiss.)

Winter mornings without warmth.
A compass with no North.

11-12-13

I'm glad we felt the same way,
I still do,
Do you?

I want to wake up on the next 60 Christmas mornings and see your face,
Your collar bones, your chest, your hips, your gorgeous legs and those quaint feet of yours,
Because I love you.
And I will never, nor have I ever loved another as much as you.

You are made for me and I am made for you.
The two pieces to a two-piece jigsaw puzzle.

The picture we make is love.

I see you.
I gasp.

Perfection comes in the form of steel blue eyes and a Mona Lisa smile.
Merely the sight of you wipes my mind.
I know your voice, inside and out.
I know your lips, your taste, your laugh, how you tilt your head.

But your heart confuses me.
Sometimes it hurts me, sometimes I hurt it.
But it gave me the most joy. More than I could imagine.
It patched and healed the holes in my chest.
Gave me a new place to rest.


I beg,
Don’t go away forever.
You are my perfection.

Pop*
     Goes the cap on this small, oblique, orange bottle.
     Out come the shapes.
     In my mouth they go.
     Water.
     Cringe.
     Something sweet to aid.

     A glance in the mirror.
     “God you’re ugly.”

     Goodnight.
     Try not to cry while you sleep.

My arms are too weak to hold up this shield,
So they can see my face.

And I look horrible.

I need some kind of relief,
I need some kind of assurance.

I need to know that my blood will halt,
I need to know that my breathing won’t.

I need somebody,
I need you.